Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to yell at me because she thought she heard me having sex, saying I'm too young for it. I'm 23 and I wasn't having sex. The noises were from my dad watching porn in the next room. FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, my mother was sneaking through my underwear and found my condoms and the bills from the hospital where I had my IUD inserted. She then started yelling at me, saying that I didn't have permission to not have children and that, "I get to choose, not you." I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML
Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML
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Top comments
MatheusRajuidas 5
She probably will always see you as her little innocent daughter...
erikabt820 2
Clean your own room, your mum won't have to do it for you!
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Comments (340)
MatheusRajuidas 5
She probably will always see you as her little innocent daughter...
BBGxBlondie 6
Shy on the streets, sexy in the sheets.
longhorns1050 3
She's definitely not innocent anymore haha
KingOfAmazing 9
I'm trying to figure out why she's 24 and still living with her mother.
girl112891 7
People live with their parents for a long time for many reasons. What I'm wondering is, why was mommy cleaning your room? Or is she just the type that'll do it even if you tell her not to? Hide your condoms better from now on!
MatheusRajuidas 5
Or nail them to the ceiling.
NewMetalGirl 14
That would defeat the purpose of using a condom then though.
IndianGiver 8
Well no need to keep stuff "down under" from your mom, mate.
stevenJB 25
That cat, sir, is in fact, pretty badass.
MissMae93 23
95 - Holy comma splices! If you want your comments to sound smart, you should probably use better grammar.
ClassyCommando 13
Did it impede your ability to read the comment? If not, you can **** right off.
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
108- He did use a comma inappropriately. However, your reaction was a little much. The comma immediately following the word "fact" should not be present. Aside from that, he was correct in setting off the word "sir" by using commas. If you still want to slowly roast him and serve him on a bed of lettuce, though, feel free to do so. I'll have a tender piece...
IndianGiver 8
I'm a miss, thank you. -_-
kkjkidonthate 4
125- I think they mean 95
Darkruler 5
95 IS 125.
CRC_101 31
154 - Yes, but 95 referred to her as "sir."
kaengelangeleyes 9
That cat doesn't "have swag". Its a hipster. T_T
cc_the_beast 6
That was a terrible Aussie pun. Even when yanks type 'mate' it sounds forced. It's like Aussies saying y'all.
nm11 4
I think you are wrong 182..
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
You have my sincere apologies, 95. I'm not sure why I typed "he", but I will forever remember that you are, indeed, a female.
francisw93 3
And we spell "Mum" like that.
Mariebaz 11
That sucks, man. But why do you still live with your parents, as was implied by your post?
Crazberry 5
I'm twenty and I live with my mom, just cos I can't afford to get my own place on a minimum wage salary right now. One of the girls I work with is 27 and she lives at home too. It's all about the money :/ I do pay her room and board though.
Crazberry 5
And I might add that I don't even have my own room... I sleep on the couch :(
downtime 13
4, Because this is the 21st century. Its common for people to live at home well into their late 20's, mostly because of the increased cost of living that is usually unsustainable for young or underemployed people. I mean hey, you could risk it and move out without enough backing to support yourself, or you could just swallow your pride and save up, making life a lot easier. It all entirely depends on the opinion of your family rather than yourself. If they're happy to have you then it's fine. If they want you gone, then I guess you're up shit creek :P It is only a problem if you remain at home despite being well off enough to move out, until you are, no harm done.
dustbunny10 0
^completely agree!! If I could live at home I would. Although no where did the fml suggest op is still a student, but being one myself I know living on my own is extremely hard. Keep in mind most people get out of school with a large sum of debt, so hey why not! As for the room cleaning part, that's just what mothers do (and they almost always snoop). Or at least mine... Thank god I now live 5 Hrs away so she can't find excuses to casually "visit" all the time.
BicPlease 3
It's okay that OP is with their parents, what concerns me is that you're 24 years old and your parents are still cleaning your room? Really? OP is at fault here.
RedPillSucks 33
Agree w/ 131, although OPs mom could have been snooping. There's probably also a bit of hippocracy here. Had OP been male and 24, condoms probably wouldn't have been a big deal. But a 24 yrold woman with condoms is obviously a ****.
Yodaevil 4
Sorry, if you have an computer/iPhone and net access, you're doing it wrong. I moved out at 22, got married and started a family. No collage education or silver spoon. Just worked hard and a lot, and didn't squander money on fun things.
ladyLALAA 29
My mum stopped cleaning my room when I was like 10, I say YDI for not cleaning your own room. And as for living at home, especially at 28, why not share a house with friends?
HollyDolly660 8
You guys are also making the assumption that OP asked her mom to clean her room. I know a lot of people, although they are only about 17 (same concept though), who's mom just cleans their room once in a while out of the goodness of their heart. It's also a way to snoop without looking like a bad mom.
robinhood007 9
Yodaevil- And that's the right attitude (really it is, I am not being a dick hahah)
Cat_Daniels 6
U have a hunger games pic!!!!! :D
reilyn 10
I'm 20 and I have an apartment with my boyfriend but I could still afford a place on my own making a few cents more than minimum wage. It's all about budgeting.
Benchyface 11
I feel bad for people that live in such bad countries that they have to live with their parents after they turn 18. :< I moved out when I was barely 16. Doing fine, living in a nice place and I don't even have a job because we get money for going to school/college.
amisenho 11
I think it's more of an issue with double standards more so than "hippocracy".
magnus_Bane 7
They should move out then if they don't want their parents in their room.
Strafeh 9
Ask her to join you two. What could go wrong?
upyourzlolz 11
Your comment.
kooochris1995 14
What is wrong with people these days?
Baagsbaseball 5
Dafuq did I just read?
nousernamesworks 12
Indeed.
soothesayer17 0
1)you would be having sex with your mom 2) same as number I 3) same as number two You seeing a pattern here?
r0ckoman 0
Well having a threesome with your mom
peaceout7247 1
R u serious u want her to join
KeyboardWarrior 10
College. Lots of money. Some people can't afford to move out.
bingababe 16
Maybe she's pissed 'cos she wants grand kids??
wlddog 14
My thoughts exactly.
peaceout7247 1
Hey I like what u wrote in the space
DaKillaMafia 2
Should be living with your man.
Crazberry 5
Tell the man that... I'm sure at moments like these OP wants nothing more than to live with him.
MissMae93 23
Why? I've been with my man for almost 3 years now, but the cost of rent, food, utilities and other random expenses is way too much for me to afford while I'm attending college. At home, just about everything is free. Your statement is officially invalid.
robinhood007 9
It's not invalid. I am in college and living with my boyfriend. It's just knowing what to do with your money.
robinhood007 9
.
_Oblivion_ 12
She's hinting for grandchildren.
erikabt820 2
Clean your own room, your mum won't have to do it for you!
zebrapattern 6
she didn't say she lives at home, she might have a mother like Marie Barone who is pushy and comes over whenever she wants.
caitlingeorgia 0
I made an account just so I could thumbs up this comment
Llama_Face89 34
26- I'm probably going to be thumbed down for this but I'll be damned if your profile didn't give me hope for this generation again! :'D
Phyre24 17
I think that all the new "great" music is down right shit. AC/DC, Rolling Stones, and almost anything from their era is what I've always listened to in my short 14 years of life and that will never change! Justin Beiber can go **** himself! ROCK FTW!!!!
KiddNYC1O 22
Hope dangles on a string, like slow spinning redemption...
Maddidaddi 0
And your 14 years of age shows when you put down someone else. Just because something isn't good to you, do not make it bad. If something is good to anyone, the artist has succeeded.
friisen_ 0
142 - Lol you called JB a musician
DerpyDerpinson 0
I made an account also just to thumbs up this comment! Made my day ????