Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
stormer461 13
I always come prepared with the condom already on. They never think to check there.
Fahrenheit63 5
She will be amazed when she learn what "pull out" technique is.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
tsim_fml 0
You should bang on the wall really loud as of your banging her but your actually not...
tsim_fml 0
if* .. damn annoying to type on an iPod
heyyyjune 11
Or just bang her anyways and pretend you're banging on the wall? ;)
kyliebear 15
Yeah but what if the mom comes in to check and she sees them?
MsSoulReaper 27
Someone is abit paranoid >.>
anie01 5
Whew! Because we wouldn't want you to have SAFE sex or anything! Obviously grandmom-to-be wants you to bareback it. Ride em, cowboy ;)
elmski87 0
So she's basically encouraging you to have unprotected sex? Paranoia coupled with naivety is a wonderful thing.
OverFlash 15
Can't say I ever really got what the point is with looking down on teenagers having sex with condoms. My GF's mum is the same, to the point where if she's not on birth control, and we really want to have sex, we have to carefully hide any condoms we use when we put them in the bin. I for one would be glad if I saw any kids I ever have get a condom, because then at least I know they're having safe sex.
Iknoweverything 29
It doesn't say in the FML that they were teenagers. In fact, if the mother had to search both bags, (hence the word "our" instead of "my") they were probably both adults and her daughter was not living with her. I don't even think they intended on having sex, since OP was happy to oblige by sleeping in a different room. That was really disrespectful of her to assume that they would even after they agreed to her terms!
DjeePee 25
23, watch out with the condoms, bro, they're not as safe as expected. I deeply suggest your girlfriend to take the pill, maybe with the 'then I have less period cramps' or 'then I can control my period better' excuses. 36, I think they are probably teenagers. Maybe they were staying for the weekend/holidays in a vacation house with the girlfriend's parents. That has happened to me. I only wanted to go if my boyfriend could sleep in the same bedroom as me, my parents agreed, and when we got there, they demanded that I would sleep on their bedroom. Boy, that was one hell of a fight.
mommabear0823 12
Birth control is not 100% effective. I know people who have become pregnant on birth control. It's better to be safe then sorry. Besides birth control doesn't protect against STD's.
DjeePee 25
Yeah, but the double dutch method is certainly the safest you can be. I always learned that the pill was for 99% safe and condoms just for 75%. Then I think it's safer to use the pill or even both of them.
mommabear0823 12
I use both now. I have a 3 month old son and I am not ready for another baby.
julia_lynn 21
I'm 30 years old and my mom insists my boyfriend and I sleep in separate bedrooms when we come to visit. Then again, I don't think (or *hope* at least) that she would go this far. So this makes me relieved I use NuvaRing instead of the pill. :P If only she knew what kind of sinning went on in her house while my sisters and I were teenagers ...
RainbowHeadache 2
RainbowHeadache 2
Hm. It showed up as blank.
RainbowHeadache 2
Edit: Goddamn it it did it again. Gah, screw it.
princesskb 1
Actually not having sex is the safest.. But let's be realistic here..
ogtwag 2
She's crazy, her daughter is crazy too. Get out while you're still not married.
suavesuave 2
1 trust issues....seriously fyl 2 bet dinner was awkward 3 unprotected sexy time?
jayejayejaye122 3
I think it'll be a great night for you guys... Good luck OP
pdHbq 2
Or her father! No, just no...
Cinn_fml 23
Good to know she trusts you, OP, and her daughter as well if we're honest. Good luck earning her trust as well, seeing as she doesn't trust her own daughter to behave either.