Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
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Top comments
stormer461 13
I always come prepared with the condom already on. They never think to check there.
Fahrenheit63 5
She will be amazed when she learn what "pull out" technique is.
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Comments (129)
unixdude 9
Tell her that as much as you have sex with her daughter, the two of you discovered that an abortion every 3 months is cheaper than condoms.
ilovebigtimerush 0
I can't see how this is a true FML. I know plenty of parents who would do that.
Okayitwasme 0
Ha ha!
skinflint 6
so she checked your bags for condoms and birth control pills and upon not finding any allowed you to then sleep in the same room together?
LiviaLuvsYou 0
Ha, did she find any???
Timmeeh 17
Frankly, if you don't now go on to knock her up this weekend you've missed a major opportunity for comedy. What do you mean major life decision? Comedy first!
ty1992_farmlife 12
That sucks.. but you had to of seen that comin dude, you were going in her house aannd spending the night. Doesn't matter how old you are, gf's mom will do that.
BrotherTheo 31
This is a no-brainer really. The moment she said anything about examining your bags, you should have said 'thank you for inviting me to stay, but I will find alternate lodging'. The fact that she's willing to invade your privacy that way is very VERY Bad, and it also sets a horrid precedent. It implies that her rights supersede yours, even when it comes to your personal possessions. Are you OK with that? If you let it happen now, get used to it, unless you start setting CRYSTAL CLEAR Bounderies.
hateevryone 15
did she find any?
saddgurl 0
If she doesn't want grandchildren wouldn't she want u guys to have condoms and birth control...