Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
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Top comments
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Bring earplugs, and a dagger to kill yourself with if it all gets too much.
abhi95 31
This FML should have been submitted after the trip.. With a few modifications of course!
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Comments (130)
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Bring earplugs, and a dagger to kill yourself with if it all gets too much.
random_cashmere 25
OP should join in for a threesome
abhi95 31
#26 I don't ever wanna be in the same room as you..
Freethaawave 19
Forget earplugs, take the condoms out of the bag, hopefully they won't notice until too late.
ziya1999 12
Aha yess, no harm in some fun ehh?;)
ExoticWaffles 14
#38 You're 14, what would you know about sex?
tpm45 25
47: unfortunately younger teens know a lot more about sex than they should. Trust me - I know.
domolovesyoshi 33
yes because another sibling is all OP needs
MegaError101 10
#33 This is brilliant, at least until they go and buy more.
DaMann360 19
Or poke holes in the condoms and evil laugh as they are doing it. Muahahahahaaaaaaa
HeyTherexxx 21
Great plan.
abhi95 31
This FML should have been submitted after the trip.. With a few modifications of course!
Kamon97 23
Hopefully OP cares enough about his sister to not put her tooth brush in that pocket
chutney_02 22
I think the real question should be whether the toothbrush was put into the suitcase pocket
abhi95 31
#41 why? Why is that question so important?
bellebe1998 16
Maybe the condoms were from a past trip...were they had their own room?
Jezzikah 11
Op said they were all unopened boxes. So they're probably new or for the trip
reneetlovesyou 30
It's still disturbing ._.
lailagothgal 16
Bow chika wow wow!
LinkandSaria 10
RvB reference?
Thatgirl299 15
ewwwww
abbymackenziee 20
That sucks, OP.
blake1015 24
Isn't there a button for that?
HortonThelephant 15
FYL if you haven't heard #4 & #10. And F the poor OP's life for what they're about to hear.
HortonThelephant 15
And I'd like to think I'm a pretty respectable authority when it cums to hearing things.
dachayke 16
This whole thread should go down the toilet, if you ask me.
StillUsesMyspace 22
It already did 45
rgri 11
Maybe that's their way of letting you know you should move to the living room.
kylieh72 25
Yeah, this kind of feels like that scene where the mob sends you a disembodied limb as a warning.
Maxis_fml 11
I was wondering why it is grossing us out to know that our parents have sex. Isn't it actually a good sign?
vencku 13
I'm not grossed out, I think it's great for the parents and it's great they are using condoms (so they don't have "accidents"). There's also no reason to believe they will have sex while OP is sleeping there. They could have private time during the day while the kids are playing with gran.
SgtAssCheeks 21
It's not the fact that we know our parents have sex that disgusts us. It's the fact that OP's parents still want to have sex when their son/daughter is in the SAME room. That is awkward, uneasy and kind of disrespectful.
vencku 13
Nothing says that they'll do it while OP is sleeping there. On the contrary, if OP is surprised to find the box of condoms, that means he has never before noticed his parents having sex when there. Unless you assume they never visited their gran before, I'd say his parents have been pretty discrete!
Xquisite1 28
Who says that the parents can ONLY have sex at night during bedtime? NEWSFLASH: After dark is NOT the only time that people can have sex.
Xquisite1 28
My reply was meant for #16, why assume that the parents are going to have sex with the kuds in the room? My point was that they can do it other times as opposed to bedtime while kids are in the room with them. Use common sense people.
kylieh72 25
I don't like to think of anyone I know having sex. It's a beautiful thing to experience, but it's not exactly beautiful to picture your parents' sweaty, naked bodies.
xivoricbutterfly 25
My parents did it with my little sister in the room. She saw them. I still don't know how she's not traumatized.
rockydify 22
She's not traumatised because it's not really a traumatic experience.
MissyMiss5 13
These were my thoughts exactly. It's great your parents are in love still and it's clear they're not terrible parents so there's no reason to assume they would behave that way with you in the room!
zandalee 20
Fabulous that we parents are still having sex yes. Not so great that they are planning on having lots and lots of said sex while one of their offspring is in the room.
Culpion 3
It's great your parents are still having sex, but surely they'd have the good sense not to do it while you're in the same room?
chutney_02 22
Blow them up and tell your parents that you found balloons
MrSassypants 34
"Today, one of my children found my box of condoms. They thought it was balloons and blew them up.... they are 18 years old." I know it doesn't tell OP's age but let's assume I am creepy and just "somehow" know OP's age.
StompinOnCrayons 15
Just don't fall asleep, and cause as many distractions as possible... although the condoms might have been left there from another trip.
rockydify 22
Yeah because preventing your parents from having sex is a real mature thing to do ... </sarcasm>
LexSwift 17
In general, yes, it's immature. While you're in the room, not so much. I'm sure you'd try to prevent your parents from having sex while you're in the room.
StompinOnCrayons 15
I'm pretty sure you would distract your parents if you were in such close proximity, 84. Unless you just want to suffer, so they can do something they could do anytime with you NOT THERE
rockydify 22
My parents did (in a caravan), I stayed quiet so I wouldn't disturb them.
WhatsOpTic 11
3 boxes? Looks like it'll be a long visit.