Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
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Top comments
stormer461 13
I always come prepared with the condom already on. They never think to check there.
Fahrenheit63 5
She will be amazed when she learn what "pull out" technique is.
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Comments (129)
BerserkGir 3
What doe OP stand for I'm lost :(
justanotherbird 19
OP = Original Poster. And for all other things you wonder about, Google is an excellent tool. Better yet, for things like this go straight to Urban Dictionary.
justanotherbird 19
Seeing as OP was ok with sleeping in separate rooms, I would wager OP and gf were NOT planning on having sex at her parents house.
5upernova 3
Are there no sofas or anything of that sort in the house? You could have just volunteered to sleep on a sofa or something.. rather than have her search through your bags and go through all that embarrassment.
Nhk_fml 4
Thats why you put them in your pocket ;) also how old are you if you are 18+ then she has no right to stop you from doing it :p
Cinn_fml 23
The OP has no right to stay in her house. The OP's mother can make any rules she likes, and also the right to kick him out if he breaks them.
Jujubilee 1
You could still do oral
bbiiaattcchh13 1
Awk
carly1505 0
you life sucka you sucka to
FreezeeMonsta 19
so you're saying her mom would rather have her daughter get pregnant?!
Torji 2
Did she find any?
svenskdod 2
Dude, nude is going to be, because of her antics a grandkid she will see.....