Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
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Top comments
stormer461 13
I always come prepared with the condom already on. They never think to check there.
Fahrenheit63 5
She will be amazed when she learn what "pull out" technique is.
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Comments (129)
KnucklesDeep 5
I don't care if it is her house, the bitch had no right to search your bags.
Cinn_fml 23
Maybe not, but she does have the right to kick the OP out of her house and/or refuse to let him stay in the first place...
sequins 1
And most guys usually have a few stashed in their wallets (I'm assuming they didn't search there) and that'd be Enough for a few days. or morning after
mommapanda 0
However, keeping condoms in your wallet makes them more likely to fail.
purple91 8
Lets all prevent our kids from being responsible and practicing safe sex - what a top mum...
elephants17 7
I think the reason she took them away is so they don't have sex. Or maybe she was checking to make sure they do have them. So it would be safe sex.
NightJack 0
"Well if you're going to have sex in MY house, it sure as hell won't be the safe kind!"
TipOfTheHat 10
Was she as thorough as airport security when she checked? Did she use the rubber glove for the cavity check? I think that if the two of you are having sex, and if your old enough, then she should be informed that you are and that you will use protection! If she doesn't like it it's her problem!
grannygruber 6
Parents don't like to think of their baby girl being a sexual being. She was probably just wanting to make sure you had the items. Best to just be up front, if you two are sexually active, admit it, but tell her since you aren't married and that is obviously a problem for her that you won't have sex at her house. Then don't. Purely a matter of respect.
TheCountess 4
I don't disagree with you, but I think that if the mother wanted respect (which OP was seemingly willing to give on his own), she should have been more respectful to her daughter and the daughter's boyfriend. They were guests in her home, and putting on such a humiliating display of "authority" is anything but respectful, especially if OP and his girlfriend are adults.
rezzrhyme 0
jokes on her , her daughter is already pregnant
rae_munchkin 6
What I'm wondering is if it's such a serious issue to her, why didn't she have you sleep on the couch?
mommabear0823 12
I read this as the mother was making sure they had birth control and condoms because they were staying in the same room. I don't think she wants them to have unprotected sex, I think she wants to make sure they are having protected sex.