Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML
How about…
Today, my father told me to "go get a job." He has been unemployed for three years. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Snarky
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Mid-life crisis
Today, my dad had his 45th birthday and got so drunk he couldn't walk. He crawled along, crying, saying that his whole life was a failure because he had "a shitty job, a fat girlfriend, and a dipshit son who's never going to move out." I haven't moved out because I'm 18 and still at high school. FML
Anger management
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Mirror mirror
Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Top comments
Beaker318 11
Aaaaand it's time for him to get a new place to live.
Murilirum 23
That's terrible. Subtle response such as 'oh you too!' Would be more than appropriate.
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Comments (61)
MrMoofinMan 19
Tsk.
Beaker318 11
Aaaaand it's time for him to get a new place to live.
15Erik 21
Hear there's a carboard box blowout going on.
Murilirum 23
That's terrible. Subtle response such as 'oh you too!' Would be more than appropriate.
cadillacgal79 32
A job is better than no job...I hate lazy parents like that.
mkstar13 13
don't listen to that mess and go out and succeed in your own life
mojopin 12
throw away his beer and tell him "bah! Have a real drink!"
ComoEsJuan 24
By a "real drink" do you mean a glass of shut the **** up?
Just_A_Tree 20
But he probably can't afford a real drink if he doesn't have a job!
Enderkate4 20
Yet the dad can complain when his child buys his shitty beers.
mojopin 12
I've got nothing against drinking. But there's a difference between between a casual drink and an alcoholic. It you drink casually, a real drink might be vodka or absinthe. If you're an alcoholic, it's gotta be a coffee.
devildog562 33
What a bum. At least you have a place to call home .
Im2Shy 16
Time to show him that "tough love" that parents always threatened us with.
man_eating_bunny 18
You should tell him if he doesn't clean up his act he will not be welcomed into your home anymore
Stormcloak 20
What a great father.
homesuckfucker 28
You have no reason to respect the opinion an alcoholic that cannot provide for himself as an adult. Keep doing what's earning you money, if it's enough to have a stable budget. As for your father. Give him an ultimatum; no more disrespecting you or your property in your house, or he'll be out on the street!