Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML
Today, my boyfriend got off for real for the first time during sex. Apparently, he's been faking it for the past two months. I didn't even know guys could do that. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
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Top comments
Beastz0r 7
Maybe you should guide him rather than faking an ****** which is lame. It would be the best option for both of you.
spitfire35 3
if it's his first time too, give him a break!
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Comments (141)
minenotyours 0
lol at #41... ;)
ChinBurton 0
Hey.. train that guy.. you deserve it
messinax33 0
50 is right, we should tell him what we like then for guysto fifer out what weblike, I think it's all because we are shy to say what we like to the guy.
martic835 2
I had an ex who I had to fake it with all the time. In the 3 years we were together I only came once and that's when he went down on me for the first time. Sad.
TunaSaladMonster 0
Hey, all you women on this here internet. Men don't know how your ****** works!! We don't have a ******. There are plenty of wrong ways to work a vagoo, apparently, so when we are doing it wrong, instead of doing NOTHING and pretending you are having a good time. You won't hurt our feelings, we just want you to feel good so we can plow you.
M_barassed 0
Funny enough, you really do need to coach your man on what to do. Most men would rather be told how to please you than guess and hope they get it right. Teach him about the "g" spot!
Superjake12 0
I hate berries too. They're really starting to piss me off. ****** berries. Think they're so cool hangin off trees and shit
RayMo_fml 1
hahahahah, what are you talking about???
Eneminy 0
oh my god! #69 i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want your babies! you made my dai! so random . . .
revbeast 0
WTF are his fingers like a cm long?
bella2011 0
holy **** he sucks hahaha and NEVER fake orgasms tou idiot because them he won't know to change anything