Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
doomking10 0
Yeah, thanks for endangering everyone's lives, bitch. You were so drunk that you pissed yourself twice and don't remember any of it, so you decided driving home would be a good idea?
HiddenAce91 6
wow that sucks so you pissed yourself twice. The FIRST time being when you drove yourself home drunk.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (152)
r1cthj 0
your life is ****** :P
JohnnyTheFox 0
yeah **** you for driving drunk. A girl getting so drunk that she pisses herself is ******* disgusting and unattractive, too.
Carnivwhorus 0
You suck at drinking if you got drunk enough to piss yourself. and to the dude who said its gross for a girl. It's gross for anyone dude. I've seen people way beyond ****** up before, but my friends know when its time to piss and that you shouldnt do it with your pants on...
apfunction 0
Jesus!!! what's the matter with you, are you some *******....piss machine?!? shit, I get wasted all the time and I've never pissed myself!
whatzyourname 0
why the hell are you driving drunk.
averageirishman 0
ydi for drunk driving
mooshibear140 4
YDI for drinking and driving. Somebody else could have been seriously injured of you got into an accident.
mooshibear140 4
*if
woosah 16
How do people get so drunk that they piss themselves in the car, piss the bed and go to work the next day. I could never drink to the point of pissing all over the place knowing I work the next day. How the ****?!
HiddenAce91 6
wow that sucks so you pissed yourself twice. The FIRST time being when you drove yourself home drunk.
saraitkddh 47
it's a good thing that he arrived safe!
juliadream 0
So drunk that not only did you think DRIVING home was a good idea, but you also lost complete control of your bladder? Guess you won against Captain Morgan
HiddenAce91 6
Well I failed to post quick enough darn my reading and rereading over and over and over again.
doomking10 0
Yeah, thanks for endangering everyone's lives, bitch. You were so drunk that you pissed yourself twice and don't remember any of it, so you decided driving home would be a good idea?
npk88 0
agree.... YDI more than almost any other post I've read. If you were so drunk you couldn't remember anything from the night including pissing all over yourself AND endangering the lives of others by driving home drunk you have a SERIOUS problem!! Get some ******* help/self control. And DON'T DRIVE DRUNK!
crazytoaster 2
Yep, OP deserves it for being such an idiot. Plus, how much fun is drinking that much? Seriously think about it, how much fun do you have on a night you don't remember?
gigi37 0
I agree with everyone that posted how stupid and idiotic the OP was. Not only did you get beyond shitfaced (well I guess not since you ONLY pissed yourself) you did it on a night before work; genius. And you drove home, well done there. Seriously OP, I hope you read all these comments and it becomes a wake up call for you Also, I'm not sure what sickens me more- OP, or all the people who voted FYL..hopefully not all of them have done the same thing..
VolleyballSMASH 1
I can only quote every alcohol commercial today- Drink responsibly.
onlysoph 0
I was going to click FYL, because piss happens. Especially when drinking. But then I realised that you drove home (obviously completely BLIND) drunk. In which case, YDI and more. Apparently, you also don't see anything wrong with this.
VirtuallyUnbreak 0
YDI someone should take away ur keys. Next time I hope you shit on yourself and hit a tree b4 you hit anyone else.
harmony88 0
Dear OP, I really hate selfish retards like you..... I'm sure you can figure out why.....
musicislife1995_fml 0
you could have killed somebody or some PEOPLE. but oh, oh no I'm sorry you onlycare about pissing yourself you incontinent death trap *****.
catscratch_fml 1
This. So very much this.
Wizzards_fml 0
wake up to yourself drink driving is really ****** stupid suck shit ya pissed ya self