Today, my husband got some junk mail. My grandma brought the mail in and let my 5-year-old open it because it was just junk. It turns out it was a catalog from an adult toys shop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML
Today, as I was cleaning up after my two year-old, I found a pair of lacy underwear in his toy box. Not only are they not mine, but now I have to ask my husband if he's cheating on me. Or ask my babysitter if she's being having fun, instead of actually babysitting. FML
Today, I received a Playboy magazine that I never ordered, and now my husband won't stop laughing at me or calling me a closet heterosexual. FML
Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML
Today, I received a package at work. Thinking it was something I ordered, I opened it in front of my coworkers. It was a gift from my grandmother: a giant pink, “I Love My Grandson” T-shirt. The worst part? They insisted I put it on and take a picture to send to her. FML
Today, my mom asked me to take my dad's mail to him. The "mail" was divorce papers. FML
Today, my 70-year-old boss asked me to order sexy lingerie she saw on the cover a magazine. FML
Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
davidpropert 32
Sounds like your kid saw some real "Junk" ;)
ilovesoccer1610 31
Have fun explaining to your kid what everything is
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (59)
davidpropert 32
Sounds like your kid saw some real "Junk" ;)
LilMissCanadian 22
He's looking at some real toys now!
Gingerwithasoul 6
Oh my
ilovesoccer1610 31
Have fun explaining to your kid what everything is
tantanpanda 26
"Mommy, I want that toy!"
Feklfekl2222 32
They're so young you don't really need to explain to them. They can just say 'no we're not getting that' or 'I don't know what it is' to avoid any awkwardness
NickACD 27
But that creates more curiosity. A lot of young children want something because their parents say no. So just explain that it makes people feel good but only works on adults.
sturschaedel 27
16, the kid is five, not three. At that age they are way more persistent and want to know exactly what everything is, even when they perfectly understand that you are not going to purchase an item. Yeah, answering all the questions is certainly going to be fun.
NickACD 27
Don't see why I got downvoted. That's a full proof plan.
KryssLB 14
Meh. "Never mind about it; it's something for adults that isn't appropriate for kids." That's all I did until my kids were old enough for more details. Worked fine.
Dale_shackleford 13
What the hell kind of adult toy shop has he money and time to mail out catalogs?
Katrinnaw 19
Lots
payge9182 7
The adult toy business is worth about $15 billion. I think they can afford to send out catalogs.
kirkaygri 18
tootimid is one. They send every thing in white boxes and envelopes that give absolutely no clues as to what's inside. It's nice to have the option to order stuff without your kids knowing what it is or seeing the catalog when it comes.
FSGInsainity 15
1) Let him order the ones he thinks look "fun". 2) Teach him how to use them. 3) ??????????? 4) Get arrested you sicko, using adult toys on children. 5) See step 1
kttnfsh 11
Oh Grandma...
cacheson 42
Sounds like several different conversations will be happening very soon.
EnJey0 19
Hopefully he'll forget about it soon.
justaweirdgirl 14
I don't think he ever will, when I was 4-5 I found my brother's adult movies, the covers of the dvd packages were pretty graphic, I'm 19 and havent forgot
dman798 18
Hopefully he's too young to catch on
jake131000 21
"Mommy, i want this"! *buys kid a *****
RedCronos 17
Just use the flashy thing from men in black