Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I took my "girlfriend" to a nice restaurant to celebrate our first month anniversary, only to find out she didn't even know we're dating, but only "friends who have sex sometimes." FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year told me the reason we've only been intimate once in the past 8 months is because she thinks she might be asexual. I love her, but I miss the intimacy we had when we first started dating. FML
Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
2 months? Santa can make it around to every house in one night. She's got some catching up to do.
feldco1 17
Good thing it's only been a couple months and not a couple years. Time to dump that bitch OP.
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Comments (140)
Hawaii84 16
Not the kind of girl you need to be with.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Sadly an all to common occurrence with woman.
lndala 15
I don't know what makes you think most women are like OP's cheating girlfriend, but we're not all like that. Some of us actually have respect for our partners. Good luck finding a partner with that mentality.
Inciter 33
No it's not. There are plenty of faithful women around. Not all of us are cheating ******.
Catahoulaqueen_fml 17
We could say the same thing about men. Cheaters cheat, its pretty common from both sexes, sadly.
Speshelphreak 13
You make a good cover story maybe? or you're the only one that hasn't treated her like a sex toy and shred of dignity and she's not sure what to do
HowieDoIt 21
Or maybe- JUST maybe, she cheated on him several times. She might not be sure how to handle a guy treating her with respect, but cheating is surely not the answer.
Anasazi 10
Rofl @ spesh!!! Feminist alert....
Speshelphreak 13
Lol either way she's not a keeper. Don't get me wrong anyone that can't stay faithful isn't worth a second of time.
kyu_Q 19
You can't dump someone who was never with you in the first place. Just stop talking to her. You don't need closure, she does....of her legs.....mouth...you know
rg350dx 29
**** her OP. On second thought, don't. She's a *****, probably teeming with STDs and definitely whoremones
hienzburgess 9
well she's living the pimp life. SHE DA WOMAN.
grumpybr 13
Well you're certainly giving her something the others aren't, or she wouldn't pretend to be your girlfriend. Maybe you're her walking atm???
perdix 31
Easy solution. Put on a disguise so she can cheat on you with you.
thatsdndn1 19
And you still with her!?
RedPillSucks 33
She might be patient 0 on the STD train.