Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I took my "girlfriend" to a nice restaurant to celebrate our first month anniversary, only to find out she didn't even know we're dating, but only "friends who have sex sometimes." FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year told me the reason we've only been intimate once in the past 8 months is because she thinks she might be asexual. I love her, but I miss the intimacy we had when we first started dating. FML
Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
2 months? Santa can make it around to every house in one night. She's got some catching up to do.
feldco1 17
Good thing it's only been a couple months and not a couple years. Time to dump that bitch OP.
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Comments (140)
kemando 22
Ex* girlfriend... Right?
xkncas 8
Leave her. If you're wanting sex, you shouldn't want it with a **** like her.
FML_14u2c 14
That song that goes "Hey... Hoe... Hey... Hoe..." seems appropriate.
Tpracingkg 15
Leave her.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
You might want to scale her back to booty call if not drop her altogether. She's a few dates shy of an awkward of an STD call.
martinfml 8
You should've taken the next step, but it's not too late. You can still try and have sex with her..
Vinnie500 14
REALLY?!? How the hell are all you bleeding hearts giving this a FML? He even said in the post that it was a YDI. He said his "girlfriend" NOT his "ex-girlfriend". If he is that lonely that he will stay with someone who cheats on him, he deserves it.
CanadianCutie22 16
time to move on !
amifaiyaz 12
Your drive needs to catch up.
fml0505 22
Her name wouldn't happen to be Jaia would it?