Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I took my "girlfriend" to a nice restaurant to celebrate our first month anniversary, only to find out she didn't even know we're dating, but only "friends who have sex sometimes." FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year told me the reason we've only been intimate once in the past 8 months is because she thinks she might be asexual. I love her, but I miss the intimacy we had when we first started dating. FML
Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
2 months? Santa can make it around to every house in one night. She's got some catching up to do.
feldco1 17
Good thing it's only been a couple months and not a couple years. Time to dump that bitch OP.
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Comments (140)
journeytotheend 16
Don't hit it just quit it... Maybe grab a blowy on your way out
RedPillSucks 33
Did she just graduate from Veterinary school?
xkncas 8
Lol, I wondered the same thing based on the other FML. XP
joeymo304 9
Dump that hoe
chrissy2 28
At first I was like YAY! and then I was like ohhhh.....
babeababe 16
Just be like "it's ok baby" have sex with her (make sure you use a condom. You don't know what kind of things she could have) and then dump her.
love_me_electric 20
Condoms won't protect you from genital warts or herpes, and neither are curable. Why take that chance?
Catahoulaqueen_fml 17
I bet OP's girlfriend is a veterinarian ;)
broken20 2
i think its time to dump her
BobbieH 19
Maybe after you two are not together anymore you'll be the one getting some! Make sure bag it or you may burn it!
Bakarra 22
Carnivore* she eats alot of meat, ALOT.
mattuti 8
She's a keeper.. just don't go for anything serious, keep her around to prevent dry spells