Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I took my "girlfriend" to a nice restaurant to celebrate our first month anniversary, only to find out she didn't even know we're dating, but only "friends who have sex sometimes." FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year told me the reason we've only been intimate once in the past 8 months is because she thinks she might be asexual. I love her, but I miss the intimacy we had when we first started dating. FML
Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
2 months? Santa can make it around to every house in one night. She's got some catching up to do.
feldco1 17
Good thing it's only been a couple months and not a couple years. Time to dump that bitch OP.
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Comments (140)
dr_snow_bear 29
Whatever you do, don't have sex with her. In a couple of months when she tells you she's pregnant you can just sit back and laugh knowing it's not yours.
iamthunder 4
Sounds like you will be sticking to Mr. Lefty and Mr. Righto for a while longer!
primadonnagirl 13
perhaps OP refuses her natural need of sex so she does what she needs to do to satiate her hunger?
waynenight 4
I disagree with the people that say you break up with her. There are still many things you must do before that! First, you must get her alone. Then when she goes to the bathroom, go through her purse and switch her birth control with placebos. Only after this, may you break up with her.
b7o7r7 1
Im curious to know how he found out…
duckit 0
Find someone else
nishantvas 13
man you had the gift of god. a nympho girlfriend. too bad you didn't utilize it !!
ultra_notorious 26
always nice to find a chick that likes getting stuffed, too bad you don't get to participate.
musiciangirl591 16
you should probably get rid of her, don't do anything with her, you don't know what she might be carrying :P
ragini95 16
That could mean she's serious about you and is taking it slow so it works out?