Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML
Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
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Top comments
amiracle 0
What, so cats cant enjoy How The Grinch Stole Christmas? Wait, what was the point here?
glorbnakcs 0
FYL indeed for having a douche for a son. I'm not a lonely person, but I read to my dog sometimes. Guess what. I bet lots of other people do it as well. It doesn't make them crazy.
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Comments (83)
lolzaursking 0
thats not even that bad.
Mustardnight 3
Its pretty sad :(
time4coffee 3
Maybe you should use the number
kevinwestonjonah 0
freaky bitch cat lady
SuperKnuckels 6
idk why people agree about OP being crazy, the cat just asked her to read a story GawL..
null_fml 11
Yes... I'm sure he actually thought you were crazy and honestly, literally gave you that number. And of course, if he really thought you were crazy, he expected you to call it of your own free will. Come on... there's hyperbole, and then there's just being ridiculous.
capslockisgood 19
What?
untoldfame 3
You Noob.
ihatedads 0
haha that sucks. fyl.
itsamemaria 0
lmfao wowww. get out more, kiddo.
xCrackerx 3
Kiddo? She's old enough to have a son who has moved out.
BeeSkwaird 0
She earned the "kiddo" either way. Grow up, OP. You're not an infant anymore. Although, after reading this, I wouldn't be surprised if you followed up your story by drinking a sippy cup of baby formula.
BeeSkwaird 0
Hahaha, NICE.
alexandraa_fml 0
He was right in referring you to the looney bin. I'll request they send you a pamphlet also.
glorbnakcs 0
FYL indeed for having a douche for a son. I'm not a lonely person, but I read to my dog sometimes. Guess what. I bet lots of other people do it as well. It doesn't make them crazy.
kerrygirl 13
yes it does......
st0815 9
This.
Armin_fml 0
Times two
Residence_fml 4
Doesn't makes them crazy but there is something wrong if you read an entire book to your pet, in this case the woman is just lonely and should get out more, if she has trouble doing so she should call the number just for a little bit of help not because she is going to have a mental breakdown. Your son just wanted to help you not tell you the next step was off to the insane asylum
WTFC 0
reading an entire book to her pet? It doesn't take that long for most of us to read the ******* grinch.
ilovefatcats 12
no it dosent
EnvyMe33 26
Only crazy people say that
amiracle 0
What, so cats cant enjoy How The Grinch Stole Christmas? Wait, what was the point here?
NorfolkDude 2
Where is your son? Unless you're saying he's with her mother and you're separated. Either way, not really a FML. It's more of a FML that you can't see your son. I'd work on that.
Emperor_Jim 0
OP is a woman, dude. And if I was the son, I would stay far, far away from her.
LilaBear 2
what the hell? does this mean that once you're old enough to move out, you no longer have parents? In other words: the OP could be, like, 50 and her son could be 25 and moved out of home. Oh, and btw, shouldn't you have said "he's with HIS mother" not "he's with HER mother"?
fobchick 0
wow your a werido, why don't you something more productive with your time then read to youre cat? I bet you're cat thinks you are crazy as well as you're son! YDI
LilaBear 2
i have an idea what you could do with your time, you could learn the difference between "your" and "you're" and the appropriate places to use each one. (you consistently used "you're" when you should have used "your" and vice versa.)