Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I took my "girlfriend" to a nice restaurant to celebrate our first month anniversary, only to find out she didn't even know we're dating, but only "friends who have sex sometimes." FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year told me the reason we've only been intimate once in the past 8 months is because she thinks she might be asexual. I love her, but I miss the intimacy we had when we first started dating. FML
Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
2 months? Santa can make it around to every house in one night. She's got some catching up to do.
feldco1 17
Good thing it's only been a couple months and not a couple years. Time to dump that bitch OP.
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Comments (140)
legendxs 20
Ditch her! But wait until the right moment. For example - when she wants to have sex with you make her horny, real horny. And when she lie on the bed - just pull your pants, zip up Johnson and tell her you are breaking up with her. She will have a nervous breakdown, trust me. :D
Zombie_Sea_Otter 9
Yea watch out for the whole baby scam. My advice is get her naked, throw it in her pooper, & bust a loaf on her face then get dressed and walk out. ****** don't get second chances
cheshire123 6
Can't make a ***** a house wife.
Barthanax 9
I have an ex who's exactly like that. I feel for ya.
cantfixme36 28
I mean... If it helps, I haven't slept with her.