Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, after years of no sex, a friend of mine told me she would like some benefits. I got too excited and came before even putting it in. FML
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for two months. FML
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Top comments
HappyPanda2016 14
I hope you mean ex-girlfriend.. And ex-friend. -_-
Sinamoi 18
Saved you the trouble of having to discover who she really was before you did take that big step in your relationship. Send her ass a packin' and find someone worthy of a healthy relationship.
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Comments (163)
csi13 8
Happened to me before!
HKCgrimmjow 15
That is probably the cruelest thing somebody can do in a relationship... FYL OP... There's much better out there for you!
bach2121 13
#12 you sexxyy
lilhellian 27
I say it's pretty close to asking "is it in yet?"
Nevermind212 11
Not having sex for almost a year!! This seems like a strong relationship
Hannah_marie63 2
Sounds like the movie My Bestfriends Girl to me
happle 21
34- Just because a couple doesn't have sex, that doesn't mean they have a weak relationship.
lilhellian 27
50 Ironically some of the longest relationships I have seen.. They were abstinence...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Exactly. OP, you'll find someone who will remain faithful!
kj51 5
No one gives a ****
besosforme 26
Apparently the gf did.
etchsanity1 11
Could be worse I found out my ex fiancé was ready to have kids when she got pregnant with another ... And yes we were still engaged.
DanielleinDC 34
OP doesn't have a profile, but they could be teenagers, and she decided she was ready--but not with her boyfriend. I'm sorry, OP, that really sucks. I hope she's your ex-girlfriend now.
fuzzySilence 5
125- I'm not sure being teenagers makes it any better...
DanielleinDC 34
Well, it explains why they hadn't had sex for a year.
xoAbiox 18
:( sorry op :(
rockstar362 8
Idk why 2 got thumbed down I feel bad for op too! being cheated on is the worst!
heerrnia 5
how could you do that to op?:(
desoto96 9
I'm curious as to what happened after that. I'm pretty sure I'd lose it and kick my friends ass and give my "girlfriend" 2 minutes to get the hell out. But hey, he might have more self control than me.
HappyPanda2016 14
I hope you mean ex-girlfriend.. And ex-friend. -_-
TheSmoothDude 10
Yeah screw them, they both suck. Put them out of mind and move on you don't need shitty people like that in your life.
WearingHats 14
I don't think they need anymore screwing.
ttqq 7
I'm sure they will be doing a lot more screwing.
Athleticism 11
I believe they should screw, as number 31 said. Nothing brings friends together like threesomes! But what do I know, I'm 13.
13ky13 20
87: If you're 13, get off the Internet and go outside.
sk83r641 4
Now you have an excuse tho so think of it like that
BlowinChronic 18
An excuse for what?
BlueFlatts 20
To have revenge sex with one of her friends. But how much revenge is that really? Sympathy sex???
sens3sfailing 25
It's obviously an excuse for chocolate. Everything should be an excuse for chocolate though...
yesio12 13
Dump her!
xSonic 9
Mmm. . . never would have thought about that. . .
rogerdodgeroz 4
Yeah I hope op ends up dumping her , I've known folk to put up with alot
rogerdodgeroz 4
Yeah I hope op ends up dumping her , I've known folk to put up with a lot
rogerdodgeroz 4
Yeah I hope op ends up dumping her , I've known folk to put up with a lot
rogerdodgeroz 4
Wtf ?
BlowinChronic 18
The double post has been surpassed! Behold, the TRIPLE post!
Jumpingmal2 7
On the bright side, at least he knows she is ready for sex! But on a more serious note, that really sucks OP, you deserve better. FYL
jackii1313 9
That's just awful! FYL. It's your choice to stay with her but after what she did...I doubt you will.
amillionbucks 5
*ex-girlfriend
Pyro_Wolf 17
And *ex-friend
amillionbucks 5
*ex-girlfriend
Sinamoi 18
Saved you the trouble of having to discover who she really was before you did take that big step in your relationship. Send her ass a packin' and find someone worthy of a healthy relationship.
Krajjan 9
9 - Very well articulated and wise view you have. I only have one amendment; when you're done dumping the ****, kick that ass's ass straight up itself. After I made an example of the first friend to stab me in the back, my lady friends couldn't find any male friends willing to risk that kind of anger. Little known fact: Violence, properly applied, solves absolutely everything.
EsotericBrent 29
FYL OP, hopefully you find someone who deserves your time and affection. 11 months? I give you credit on the patience man, I know I couldn't wait that long.
EsotericBrent 29
9 is right. FYL OP, I'm sorry for you man. Find someone who really deserves your affection and time, I know that girl sure doesn't.
corporatescoundr 25
And worthy of your sex.
sens3sfailing 25
I was in a relationship for a year sexless. Thankfully it ended by mutual unhappiness with the relationship and not her cheating.
sunkissedluster 20
thats awful, but if your one of those swingers you could always make it a three way, hey i dont judge
ICastillo 25
Or OP can just dump the tramp and kick the shit out of his friend. Then go drink a beer afterwards.
Sinamoi 18
You may not judge, but the rest of us do. Your idea is bad and you should feel bad.
thursday817 6
Haha 21, my day is now complete. Thank you.
evig_fml 16
Mhmmm beer
zombieslayer83 19
21, people have threesomes all the time. They start in tons of situations. This one doesn't seem that far fetched. Also all because you do judge and she doesn't, in no way entitles her to feel bad!
Sinamoi 18
39- You're right, people do have threesomes, but not a whole lot of them start with finding out that your partner betrayed your trust.
lilhellian 27
42 Well this one time at band camp... wait I never went to band camp! :O
Sinamoi 18
44- I just realized you're a day older than me. Go to your band camp and leave me in my youngness.
poccocurantes 7
Well the seal is broken. OP just give her a guilt trip say you'll take her back, get some loving and dump her ass. You invested way too much time not to reap any of the benefits. As for your friend, it's a toss up as to if he was teaching you a lesson that waiting 11 months for that girl was rediculous (case proven) or just some Eddie Haskell mofo in need of an ass kicking.
TheMathMajor 26
Well someone is a creepy asshole (49)
DrunkButterfly 17
thats so stupid lol who would even want to do that with someone who stabbed u in the back and ur friend
OhDearBetrayal 25
49- This is why abstinent relationships aren't much heard of today in the Western world. Most people find sex as the final or highlight level of a relationship, something that needs to be there especially when the relationship is long spanned. I'm abstinent until I get married (which is never), but dating and relationships are a little dangerous. An example would be 49, who models the attitude of men who become frustrated with the lack of sex and look to rape as the answer.
AllieCat21 21
10, you say you don't judge others, but your previous profile information as well as your new profile information both show you judging certain commenters and their "cheerleaders". A bit hypocritical, don't you think?