Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I took my "girlfriend" to a nice restaurant to celebrate our first month anniversary, only to find out she didn't even know we're dating, but only "friends who have sex sometimes." FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year told me the reason we've only been intimate once in the past 8 months is because she thinks she might be asexual. I love her, but I miss the intimacy we had when we first started dating. FML
Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
2 months? Santa can make it around to every house in one night. She's got some catching up to do.
feldco1 17
Good thing it's only been a couple months and not a couple years. Time to dump that bitch OP.
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Comments (140)
djinnyf 12
Don't refer to her as your girlfriend anymore!! xx
TheHeavyOne 15
Sorry bud.
Rasetsu 10
Aw, sorry. :( that sucks.
DarkHeartAnime 4
Ex.*
AlexiAwesome 10
Get out while you can
plagiarismo 16
I would brag if I were you. You're probably the only clean guy in the city!
UnderClouds 2
I've been there too, man. It sucks. Time to move on~
josieposie89 2
that's your fault. if your chick isn't ******* you you're doing something wrong. be spontaneous, **** her up against a wall when she least expects it. be aggressive. chicks love that shit. stop being a ******* Pansy ass.
xgetxbentx 13
I hope she is now your ex girlfriend. Fyl dude, but be glad she wasn't having sex with you, she probably has diseases that you want no part of.
FC3sInfiniIII 12
Stinks to be you. If it had been me. I will had teared it up on the first night. I love sex 24/7