Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

What a feeling!

Today, I discovered I have a condition that causes loss of feeling in my clitoris during sex. FML

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML

What's up, doc?

Today, I went to the doctor because of the redness and swelling of my penis, hoping that it was just a minor rash or allergic reaction. Nope! According to the doctor, who could barely stop herself from laughing, it's good old-fashioned friction burns. FML