Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Damn
Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML
Ouch
Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML
Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Because of him
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML
Today, I found out I have a yeast infection, a bladder infection, and a urinary tract infection all at the same time. Oh, and I also have the flu. FML
Surprise!
Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML
Bad news likes company
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
Today, I have a UTI that spread to my kidneys, a yeast infection, and a herpes outbreak. Oh, and my period came this morning. FML
Today, I found out my ex gave me an STI. Today I also found out I'm allergic to the medication. FML
Today, I'm at the ER for my first ever UTI and potential other "down there" issues. Yesterday I got married. FML
Top comments
DontModMeDammit 10
Unborn tarantula infestation.
Carbonite2010 0
At least you don't have UTI RIGHT?
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Comments (237)
frokeyman92 9
Sorry mate.
Jakesterk96 8
Does this FML remind anyone of Todd glass' awful prank show?
NOTquiteRAMBO 10
YDI for getting a STD. Those things can be prevented SO EASILY.
hawaiianfire 0
Caaaan youuuuu diiig it!?!
Torva_fml 16
Just wanted to inform everyone, STD's are now called STI's. (infections instead of diseases, as most can be cured)
i_amthe_walrus 0
STI's can be cured but STD's can not. A STD is a STI essentially but a STI is not a STD. They are two different things hence why they are two different terms. You don't know if OP and everyone are actually talking about a STD not just a STI.
construction 7
79 went into too much detail... In summary ... Sucks to be her
jam531 3
Some are called std's n some r called sti 's
Damn_Hippster 11
^ I sincerely hope your trolling with that comment
enonymous 9
UTI and STD sound like a sexy sub model of a Car by GM Tahoe STD edition
OFFICERxNASTYxx 0
Don't be a fool, wrap the tool!! Wrap it before you tap it!! Contain it before you try and tame it!!! ....... I'll be here all week...
fromthesuck 8
A little rubber goes a long way. I Should sell that slogan to both Goodyear and Trojan.
ilikeapplejuice 7
nothing like the smell of blue waffle in the morning..
n_epic_fail 14
STD (SUCKS TO be a DUMBASS)
MissMae93 23
189 - Would that not make it STBAD? This is why dumbasses themselves should not make up acronyms.
iiNommBaconz 0
^troll
fmlover1326 1
190 - you're a dumbass because you do not have to use small, meaningless words in akronyms.
downtime 13
Apparently in the land of FML there is no such thing as a victim of an STI. Nevermind the various ways these can be transmitted, and because its preventable if you are extremely diligent you must...therefore...deserve it? I don't quite follow the logic, since you could say that about almost anything, but whatever, I should stop expecting logical arguments on this site...
wanna_bee 8
157 If you live in Lawton you must live near Fort Sill--near all the Army training--so I find your picture very appropriate. Ill be at Fort Sill in 11 days. Looking forward to basic.
aine1111 0
I didn't know Snooki went on FML.
MrsDruidess 23
thank you 216!!!
squirrels_curls 0
technically its a girl, they get the sane symptoms as uti's. you dont know how they got it so dont assume they sleep with everyone.
jackassiddy 8
1st Who the **** are you talking to? 2nd Where the **** is he gender distinguished?
Savra_fml 17
3rd, sane symptoms? Guys get crazy symptoms? WTF?
AndysFancy 6
Good point, jackassiddy
ScaughtieHolden 11
*Same symptoms, Sherlock.
Savra_fml 17
Why thank you Watson. No shit by the way.
Fml_FTW228 10
I guess this person thinks she is pregnant because he put " it's a girl" that's my best guess to try to make this make any sense.
Llama_Face89 34
64- they're finally classifying children as STDs?! My hard work and constant one man protests paid off!!!
Tswift0806 3
Well it's not a very good boyfriend or girlfriend if they didn't tell them they had an STD.
desireev 18
There is a chance that they didn't know. Or it could have been a drunken fling or many different things. But all of that is irrelevant. People need to stop making shit up and making assumptions! It's ridiculous! I mean, c'mon!! Find something ******* smart to say instead of the stories you make up and your ridiculous assumptions!!
murdersquirrel 15
132 - It's time to call the Redundancy Department of Redundancy.
ohmandapants 17
Juuussst would like to point out that OP is probably a girl. Women get UTIs VERY easily because of how our lovely bodies are made. Men aren't really susceptible to them, although they can get them.
wanna_bee 8
132 If you have a problem with it, why exactly are you reading it? Obviously other people find it entertaining and don't want comments that attempt to demolish and abolish the fun we have.
TheRealBrianGrif 7
OMG
TherealMort 0
Brian how are you? And if I remember correctly you came Into my pharmacy looking for pills for your STDs.
benderbot19 0
OMG, WTF. STD not UTI!
chelseaaababyyy 17
thats definitely not boner-rific.
farnsworth 3
Good news everyone! I've been working on a new capsule that cures aids! Now if only I can get it out of the suppository stage...
ladybug656 0
How funny I read comment 151 in professor Fawnsworths voice :)
Carbonite2010 0
At least you don't have UTI RIGHT?
marziscrazy 6
What's a uti?
kooochris1995 14
Urinary Tract Infection.
DontModMeDammit 10
Unborn tarantula infestation.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Undoubtedly Terrifying Irishmen.
Feklfekl2222 32
Unicorn tail instinct
Fml_FTW228 10
Utterly torturous Inuit
KiddNYC1O 22
Ugly Trolls Infiltrate.
MrFancy 0
having my house infested by unborn tarantulas sounds absolutely terrifying.
Freeze_fml 17
Unable to investigate.
Kirlyfoo 9
Uterus ******* insense
flockz 20
Urine Teetering Insanity
ledstratdak 0
under tit infection
auterocks101 0
??
mnmolino 14
UTI: unanimous t isolation
mnmolino 14
Sorry... I didn't mean to hit send... FML
jmassing1 7
Ur cute
Kirlyfoo 9
Why was mine thumbed down? It corrolates!!!
Cynical_in_SK 6
You know...there are these wonderful things called condoms. They are really simple to use and are very effective at preventing STD's.
heyyy464 1
I really hope that's a joke
jackassiddy 8
I seriously hope this person knows you can get an STD from oral sex as well..
Cynical_in_SK 6
Oh you hope it's a joke huh? Why is that exactly?
heyyy464 1
Because you can still get some STDs with a condom on
brianjman14 23
'Cuz you're a moron.
Cynical_in_SK 6
Of course I know you can get STD's from oral sex. That's why condoms should be used during fellatio...hence the existence of flavoured condoms, and *********** should be avoided unless you know your partners is clean.
jackassiddy 8
Cynical.. read 19's comment and try again. Condoms help but they don't guarantee shit..
Cynical_in_SK 6
No...you're the moron 21! God...do they not teach sex ed where you and 6 are from?. Look...STD's are transmitted through the exchange of bodily fluids. Condoms, when used properly, are very effective at preventing the exchange of bodily fluids and therefore the transmission of STD's. They aren't 100%, but then nothing is, and it's a hell of a lot better than unprotected sex. So why don't you guys STFU about things you apparently know nothing about!
Squirrelx 5
Some STDs can be spread from skin to skin contact. And condoms don't always prevent STDs.
iceroyalty1984 14
*********** should just "be avoided" eh? Where do you get your information? Ever heard of a dental dam? Also, herpes and HPV can be spread easily even WITH proper use of condoms, since transmission is through contact, not exchange of fluids. Condoms help, but aren't perfect. Most people in OP's position get STI's from dishonest partners who cheat.
brianjman14 23
No...you're the moron 27! Condoms aren't 100%, hence, you can still get STDs.
desireev 18
What if she was married and her husband was cheating? Married couples tend to not use condoms. People need to get off OPs ass! I'm sure she feels stupid enough at the fact that she has an STD.. Leave the poor girl alone!
NikkiFlysKites 8
5, no one said NOT to use condoms. The way you put it, it seemed like you were saying that condoms are 100%.
DocBastard 40
What the **** is wrong with you idiots? Cynical clearly said "very effective", not 100% effective. And you're attacking her and thumbing her down WHY exactly? All of you shut your dumb ******* mouths and learn to READ. Jesus Howard Christ!
iceroyalty1984 14
I thumbed down because it's actually very easy to get an STD and I didn't like the judgmental tone of the post.
brianjman14 23
Doc - she was kind of saying the OP should have used a condom, when we don't know if the OP did or not because, like people said, condoms aren't 100% and some STDs are skin-to-skin contact.
ThatLooksSticky 16
Yeah, you can get some STDs trough oral sex, but I doubt any of them would lead a person to believe s/he has a urinary tract infection.
mikeeg 0
^ that argument was more entertaining than the OP!
DocBastard 40
It is NOT very easy to get an STD if you're smart about it. Everyone here is busy making assumptions about how OP contracted the STD rather than realising that Cynical's original comment is 100% correct. Without further information, continued arguing is futile. Let's just all move along and start harassing someone who actually made a stupid comment. They aren't hard to find.
rubberduckie94 13
i always wondered what the h stood for in his name. thanks doc
Forlorn420 9
Right 59?? lol
yumlicious 4
NuWait, wait, wait! HOLD ON! I thought STI was the new PC word and that STD was a no-no? Anyway...
deebaybeee19 6
clearly it says STD not STI so your argument is shut down.
yumlicious 4
STI is the new term for STD, haha. My health teacher crammed the term into my brain.
The_Troller 14
^ Well some people don't know the difference and OP couldve been one of them
MedKits 9
Doc, are you an attending at your hospital? If so, can I apply there?
Horcruxer 0
Boring argument, condoms aren't 100% effective bottom line or jus stay away from filthy creatures damn
Krystaliph 0
5- What kind of sex ed are you being taught? And avoid cunninglus? Guys get nasty things too.
WickedGinger 2
Hate to break it to you...but in medicine, we still call them STD's, disease merely indicates a medical condition, not necessarily the treatability of the condition.
DocBastard 40
MedKits - yes I am. We could always use some more good PAs. :) Come on by and drop off an application.
lescarter6907 0
Ok why is everyone assuming it's the authors fault? Maybe just maybe their mate is the one that should have used a condom!
arttyruiz 7
What a troll... -_-
amanda_d95 9
Why would that be a joke? That's what they do and a lot more people should use them, especially to avoid situations like these.
wanna_bee 8
37 Why must you make up excuse for the woman/man who tramps around and has naughty vulgar sex any time she can. The moment OP posted this she/he was setting herself/himself up for a failure of an FML. If you are going to post an STD FML you deserve to get ragged on.
picklezz123 5
It's a win-lose I guess
Airman1988 9
Hopefully it's of the treatable variety because thats as good as it gets for you from here
wolfvamp 0
if its not he wont get any for a long time
Miouya 0
That's gatta suck D:
flockz 20
use a condom. you had a decent ****, but ended up getting majorly screwed.
IndigoAcrylic 9
A similar feeling to shoplifting I guess ^_^ You get some good free loot and then you are stuck with that awful feeling after. But I've never stole anything or had unsafe sex ;D
Cheesecakee 11
Who said it was a decent **** ?
flockz 20
simple logic: who has STD's? -******/manwhores why do they have STD's? -they **** lots of people how can they **** alot of people? -they're somewhat decent looking more attractive people=more fuckable therefore OP got her STD from a decent ****.
ElenaGrayce 0
You can get an STD from ONE TIME having sex. Plenty of people lose their virginity to their high school sweetheart who also claims to be a virgin, and then when they turn up with an STD realize their partner is a liar. So no, not just ***** and ****** get STD's, dipshit.
acpv19 9
Sorry to hear that Hope they can treat it