Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, I went to the market and I was stuck in a long ass line for 10-15 minutes. To make things worse, in front of me was a guy bending down with his buttcrack all the way out. I couldn't eat anything after that. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
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Top comments
alexhaz64 4
I don't think anyone would blame you for that, morning sickness or not...
ajnorma 16
That would do it for me too!
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Comments (170)
matt98_fml 13
Why do I picture the obese woman being honey boo boo's mom?
matt98_fml 13
Haha yeah I know right?! "You better redneckonize!" oy and vey.
ambowew 7
"A dollar makes me holla."
the_anti_hipster 7
Just wanted to say that honey boo boo, though being from Georgia and actually only 1.5 hours from my house, is *not* representative of the teeth bearing, non-farting, educated, not inbred and not morbidly obese GA citizens. We're just as horrified as you.
LolOrDeath 4
Because you watched South Park last night
Welshite 40
Don't they realize how terrible they look when they dress like this? It's absolutely disgusting and they shouldn't be allowed out in public.
SApprentice 34
That is foul. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I feel bad for the cashier too, because they had to accept payment from the lady after that.
st333ph 12
I hope you feel better, op!
BubbleGrunge 18
Yuck, lady not everyone wants ass crack germs on them. Sorry OP, it's totally acceptable considering the situation! Congrats on the baby!
olpally 33
Good lord, was it Larry the cable guy's cousin? Lol... Yikes! :/
marcranger 29
Thanks, Noor. Now I lost everything in my stomach. I can't even blame it on morning sickness because it's night and I'm not pregnant!
Briiyahh 7
That's just plain damn nasty
internetqueen 1
Poor OP! That would make me sick too!! Don't be embarrassed....that woman should be!
agonydrum 7
Call it intuition but luckily I'm guessing that particular lady doesn't put back many groceries