Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
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Top comments
DntLookBack 29
And that is when you beat his ass.. Don't mess with a pregnant lady's food!
darkmis1 18
Make him buy you more. He's not the one carrying a baby that needs to eat as well.
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Comments (59)
DntLookBack 29
And that is when you beat his ass.. Don't mess with a pregnant lady's food!
DishnobFruitCum 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She's not pregnant.
hellobobismyname 24
16, what do you think morning sickness is? Calling 1 an idiot for being right just makes you look like a bigger idiot and an asshole.
twaumat 28
16 - exactly my thought, does he know what morning sickness is?
DntLookBack 29
16, I wish I could just continually thumb you down v_v
DishnobFruitCum 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Anyone can get morning sickness. Your comment just shows how uninformed you are.
The_Thinker 18
The most common occurence of cravings with morning sickness is during pregnancy, and thus it's only common sense to assume such. Stop trying to be a smart-arse.
hellobobismyname 24
33, Why don't you research what morning sickness is? Go on google, bing, Wikipedia, or just ask your mama and inform yourself before you fill up this thread with any more of your ignorance.
countryrose92 23
Morning sickness is often the word used for a pregnant woman who is nauseous. Salty cravings is also a usual craving of pregnant women. Therefore assuming that this woman is pregnant is pretty legit. I am pregnant and I made a shelf for my "pregnancy foods" such as my bacon cheddar cheese fries and chocolate strawberries and strawberry smoothie makings, from the beginning my guy knew not to touch my shelf of yummy snacks, if he had, he would have gotten to know the couch very well. :)
Reaper1984 13
#1 That has to be the most ridiculous comment I've read on FML, ever. Im surprised you haven't been thumbed down more
Reaper1984 13
I meant that for #16, sorry #1
klaralynn 17
oh the joys of being pregnant.
Liammg 12
morning sickness. the two key words 16
young_weezy_fml 3
he probably smoked a blunt
Bakarra 22
You* while you were writing your comment
twaumat 28
yea, by his name he probably was smoking a blunt
blessedbylife 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
we are all not wasted little pot heads OP
DubstepCrazyXD 11
That may be true but you shouldn't smoke weed in the first place. It's bad for you health, sure it has some good affects but it's illegal for a reason.
rangerPat 12
#2: ...Because you always need to have weed to want to eat salty foods? OP's husband could have just been super lazy and loves salty snacks. I know I love to snack on salty treats, and I'm not perma-wasted....
EpicSquishii 21
70- I'm assuming you think that America, and only America, has everything figured out, huh? Research the prohibition period, where alcohol (which is a drug, which is worse for your health than weed) was against the law. Weed is now legal in WA state, btw. Then, go look up other countries where pot is perfectly legal. Don't be a sheep, think for yourself. -Brought to you by someone who hasn't even tried pot-
dead_insects 18
legal here in Colorado too!! but it has no affect on me at all... boo!
suboy 10
70. One reason they say its still illegal is that if it were legal it would be easily accessible to patients (like those undergoing chemo) that could then stop using their expensive prescriptions costing the pharmaceutical companies lots of money. Its always about money.
sweetbabysweet93 10
Pregnancy sickness is rough! It gets better
sportcrazychick4 7
Good lord I hope so because being sick after everything I eat sucks!
sweetbabysweet93 10
I was like that for about 20 weeks. There's a vitamin that helped me a lot.
peachesncreem 21
#77 - Do you remember what it is? It might help some of us too :)
sweetbabysweet93 10
It's vitamin B6. You can take it in the morning and at night. Taking your prenatals with food helps too and drinking ginger ale helped settle my stomach. I hope I helped :)
tacojauns 45
Well I'm sure your husband can give you a mouthful of salty flavor
j_cat187 20
That was in poor taste... brilliant!
traderjoe 2
dam, beat me to it....
raesos91 26
ha! you mean a protein shot? xD
blessedbylife 6
these kinda jokes just put a bad taste in my mouth
Liammg 12
I love you.
mmoroney9 5
Just saying, i usually don't like to indulge after my previous meal comes up.
not_a_robot 15
My first thought after regurgitating a meal is what should replace it.
suboy 10
Salty snacks help some people settle their stomach.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Sometimes throwing up and getting whatever it was that was irritating your GI system out makes you feel better and actually hungry.
Avery001 6
#5, I don't think you've ever been pregnant... you crave weird things at weird times. It happens to me! And my friend used to crave jelly beans all the time, even though sweets would make her puke. And she would just go right back to eating them. lol
darkmis1 18
Make him buy you more. He's not the one carrying a baby that needs to eat as well.
cradle6 13
That's such a misconception. The baby needs such a small amount of food. Furthermore, your body will prioritize the baby over the mother. This why you'll see so many women in Africa who are effectively starving that are giving birth to perfectly healthy babies. Still, that's not to say that the hunger isn't intense while pregnant.
hryffff 11
I say punch him in the balls and make him go get more
darkmis1 18
Actually since the baby get the nutrients from the mother, she needs to be healthy too. Infant mortality is a lot higher in Africa where the "mothers are effectively starving" than in countries or areas where the mothers get prenatal care and take care of themselves.
countryrose92 23
Yes, baby needs such a "small amount if food" but the woman who is sitting there suffering from back pain, morning sickness, leg cramps, pelvic ligament cramps, head aches, nausea, scent increase, and appetite decrease may find that getting a "small amount of food" to stay in her stomach is extremely difficult. During my first trimester the only thing I could eat was pretzels because the nausea was so bad and even then I usually ended up being sick within half an hour. It's important for the mom to get lots of healthy snacks into her body because most of the nutrients are given to the baby first, but then she needs some to be healthy and able to literally carry that baby for the next several months. Also, it's not exactly a misconception, pregnant women should in fact eat more nutritious calories per day and increase that amount as her baby grows larger. No not 4000 calories to literally eat for two, but I was told to add a couple extra 100 calorie snacks through out the day into my daily eats so baby had a constant supply of nutrients. So before you talk about misconceptions, do some research.
whatthefreshhell 15
I've never been pregnant, but crackers are good for upset stomachs and they're salty, so it's a win/win.
countryrose92 23
Crackers actually made me sicker, but for some reason pretzel sticks helped. :) once again, proly the salt
mommy2cassidy 18
Crackers always helped me. Or ginger cookies
Catkam623 27
Make his fatass get you some more
M3DIC4T3 29
60, have you ever been pregnant before? Yes name calling is appropriate here! Especially since those were her snacks and he couldn't even have enough self control to not eat her snacks!!
SomeRandomGuy15 18
It seems kind of silly to ask if 60 was ever pregnant, considering he's a guy...
jelly713 19
Eat ginger to help your nausea, OP. Then make your husband buy more food. >_
NewYorkMexPR 14
Gotta have a secret stash