Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, I went to the market and I was stuck in a long ass line for 10-15 minutes. To make things worse, in front of me was a guy bending down with his buttcrack all the way out. I couldn't eat anything after that. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
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Top comments
alexhaz64 4
I don't think anyone would blame you for that, morning sickness or not...
ajnorma 16
That would do it for me too!
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Comments (170)
amanda1019 12
Your from Nebraska! There is a lot of gross people in Nebraska! I feel for ya! :(
ilovecandie 0
I threw up reading this (I get major sympathy pregnancy even when I read a book about pregnancy). It doesn't matter if your big or small you shouldn't wear something that doesn't cover you properly. I recommend that she gets some fashion advice from my heavy friends since they obviously dress better
internetqueen 1
I did too! I had a 24 hour stomach bug and I thought about this FML and it made me throw up blaaaahhhhhh
awkward_gothlady 32
Daisy Dukes or not, I don't know why anyone needs to stick their hands down their pants and scratch their ass in public. That's the part I don't want to see.
bgdkmcgee 10
Hilarious!
guitarguy2171 2
Whatever happens in Walmart , stays in Walmart.
Alastrina_fml 20
That just plain sucks. I would be sick too.
Blahblah9921 4
just thinking about it makes me sick :/
Blahblah9921 4
just thinking about it makes me sick :/
maddiewoah 15
Now, I'll admit that I'm an obese woman.. but I know very well that it is NOT okay for a large woman to wear tiny tank tops, too-tight t-shirts, and short shorts. In public. Wear that shit in the privacy of your own home. Because that. Is. Disgusting.
drayloon 50
Shit, at least you didnt lose anything in your uteres too...