Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, I went to the market and I was stuck in a long ass line for 10-15 minutes. To make things worse, in front of me was a guy bending down with his buttcrack all the way out. I couldn't eat anything after that. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alexhaz64 4
I don't think anyone would blame you for that, morning sickness or not...
ajnorma 16
That would do it for me too!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
olpally 33
People like her should have to go through an application process before wearing those types of clothes... She'd be denied for just about everything...
SApprentice 34
You're so cruel to do that to us, Noor. I'll never again be able to eat anything from a store without staring at it in horror. I already can't touch door handles and stair rails, now I'm going to be using hand sanitizer every time I touch my cereal box. *runs off to scrub produce*
JaneDoexD 8
Reminds me of the time I was in third grade I was sick And didn't feel to good so I was standing outside when this girl came up to me and said hi I threw up lol the timing is what made itxD
booboo2464 3
Honey boo boo's mom?
LuckyLynx7732 5
Ok, I'll bite. Who the hell is honey boo boo?
mpalmiter 0
Honey Boo Boo is a 6yr. old girl with a T.V. series. Her family makes hillbillies look prim and proper Her mom is disgusting with her 3-4 chins that have dirt encrusted in them. Her father has less facial expressions than Kristen Stewart and always had dip running off his lip
internetqueen 1
Hahhahahaha June!
Posthuman 26
-Insert Cleveland here- "oh that's just nasteh"
WmZH 1
And that is why you don't go to Wal-Mart :) just a guess that's where you were
Fuhkyoo 17
Gnarly. they should make wal-mart more pregnant woman friendly huh?
speckledots 29
Oh dear lord. The nightmares. *shudder*
olpally 33
Yes noor!! Another vomit orgy... I'm still trying to clean myself up after that last fml... Damn you!! Lol *vomits*
perdix 31
I know that Wal*Mart has the best prices, but during your pregnancy, you may want to break open the bank and shop at those pretentious snobatoria for ex-hippies like Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. After you have the baby, you'll have to slum it with the losers at Wally World.