Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, I went to the market and I was stuck in a long ass line for 10-15 minutes. To make things worse, in front of me was a guy bending down with his buttcrack all the way out. I couldn't eat anything after that. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
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Top comments
alexhaz64 4
I don't think anyone would blame you for that, morning sickness or not...
ajnorma 16
That would do it for me too!
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Comments (170)
Googolman 29
This reminds of the time I was sick. My dad gave me a container to throw up in, but I only threw up because the container smelled bad.
internetqueen 1
Lol ew
HisGirl8272012 2
Damn I'd up chuck too
emh86 14
I just threw up in my mouth reading that and I'm not pregnant! You poor thing!!
hellokeroppi 5
That's Nebraska for ya.
Leprekhaun 14
Let me guess... Walmart? Edit: too late for Walmart
nachosbabygurl 9
I think I wood even if I wasn't prego lol
afropuffjake 9
Trust me most guys have to call on all their strength to keep their composure as well we feel your pain!
steeldragonn 4
Well... maybe she got the message? Hopefully..
croso88 5
I hope you threw up all over her
urbanimpression 6
I bet that was at Walmart!