Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, I went to the market and I was stuck in a long ass line for 10-15 minutes. To make things worse, in front of me was a guy bending down with his buttcrack all the way out. I couldn't eat anything after that. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alexhaz64 4
I don't think anyone would blame you for that, morning sickness or not...
ajnorma 16
That would do it for me too!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
workout1 5
Bet you were at walmart? That must have been award...
Tinuviel97005 0
It's specific fml's like this that make me wonder (and hope) that maybe the subject of discussion frequents this site. Would anyone ever read this and think, "Oh, someone threw up in line behind me today. Gee, could I have been that gross?" Result: life-changing moment, i.e. the world is suddenly a slightly better place. Or maybe some stranger read this and decided to wear more appropriate clothes in the future. One can only hope. Sorry, random rant.
brandoneyez1 25
Lmfao!!!
RoxxyHustle 7
I hope you threw up ON her.
mlss_ox 3
truly disgusting! that sux!
sugoine 12
Ah, Wal Mart, I bet...gotta love the obesity epidemic in America...you want to super size that combo? And a diet Coke because that will make it ALL okay, ya lard ass...? Sorry you had to witness that, OP-but PLEASE tell me, you hurled on the fat broad, right????
nora2011 4
I hope you puked on her. She knew better.
wpolo02 7
How is that an FML for you? I can see how her's would go. "Today I thought I was rocking a cute outfit at the store. That is until the person in line behind me saw me and threw up." You deserve a medal OP.
anonimeeeee_fml 18
That is even worse than the time my friend stuck is hand down his crotch and sniffed it afterwards while we gave our speech.
corylock 7
Thanks for that graphic image.