Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
The fart probably was a made of 2 week old food stuck in her fat encrusted gut, obese people need to sort it out with their bumper car looking arses.
TheForgetfulOne 12
Do people not know how to say 'Excuse me" anymore ?
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Comments (116)
Wizardo 34
The fart probably was a made of 2 week old food stuck in her fat encrusted gut, obese people need to sort it out with their bumper car looking arses.
svalaedgren 18
If that happened to me I would be beyond pissed off. To fart in a strangers face? When they're eating? I mean come on...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Probably wasn't even a fart. Just trapped air escaping from fat-folds.
Sinamoi 18
The imagery in this thread is beyond disturbing.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Welcome to the darkest depths of imagination that is FML.
Wizardo 34
Welcome to FML #41, where the humour is dark and sadistic and the threads are made from the devils hair itself...
ardencred 7
Maybe the fart began 2 weeks ago in her big ass and finally made it to the butthole
fymother 13
USA! USA! USA!
ash2ash 3
i'm wondering if I'm going to have an fml in the near future...my boyfriend's last name is whipple, he isn't with his ex wife, but they are still technically married :S
hnaggar 15
Appetite booster :/
SuperSofie 23
Yep, sounds like a Happy Meal...
slappygecko 21
The only thing it'll boost is the methane levels.
Vitualamen 11
Not exactly what you want from some obese and ignorant sod.
Kiki242 19
I wouldn't necessarily call the woman ignorant.
AngelSpit 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
if she's not smart enough to stop shoveling food down her gullet after she's reached the point where the Ringling Bros ask to borrow her nightgown because they've lost their tent intelligence may not be her strong suit
AngelSpit 18
before people start coming down on me with oh no its not her fault it's hard to lose weight or its genetics bullshit and I'm not referring to people who are chunky or pudgy or slightly overweight I'm referring to the 300 400 pound plus crowd I just don't understand how someone could let themselves go that badly years ago I gained a chunk of weight and hit 200 pounds and that was more than I was comfortable weighing so I change my lifestyle and I lost weight and I'm pretty damn lazy so if I can do it then these people just must not even be trying (OK I've said my piece commence hating me now)
Medd_fml 13
But how much brain power do you really need to think: "Maybe I shouldn't fart on these people and their food."?
ZeroPath5 16
Actually #29, I completely agree with you. I have no idea how people let themselves go so much, and to blame genetics is simply an excuse. And then there's the "big is beautiful" excuse...Just go to the gym for about a month and your lives will improve tenfold...not like being obese is healthy anyways -.-
JessicaZado 11
I have to agree. I could understand being a little overweight because that's okay. But when It's to the point where you're risking your health and your life. That's when you need to do something about. Even just eating better would help. Just saying when I normally see obese people eating-It's fast food or nothing but garbage. That's not helping themselves!
bluntbeak 6
29 are you retarded? ever heard of something called an 'eating disorder'? try not being a completely intolerant hateful bitch, it can be rewarding.
AngelSpit 18
try I was bulimic for 3 years and being 100lbs overweight and eating fast food every day isn't an eating disorder its stupidity
AestheticGuy 21
This is why I hate obese hamplanets. Especially when they expect to treated the same as human beings who are actually normal. Some enormous girl tried to get into a club that I was promoting the other weekend, the landwhales was like "WHYY NOHTT??" and the bouncer was just shaking his head, and we were all thinking "Because you cant even fit through the door you disgusting-..." And I wont finish the rest.
asherm 15
Someone had the Taco Bell
Wizardo 34
Someone had everything at the food court including the Taco Bell, how do you think she looks like Jabba the Hutt?
Talooka 10
Not too hard to guess she had the bean soup..
TheForgetfulOne 12
Do people not know how to say 'Excuse me" anymore ?
RedPillSucks 33
You mean before or after? An "Excuse me" would be insufficient in this case however. Simple decency would have suggested she find another path that she can fit through and hold the farts for the bathroom.
TheForgetfulOne 12
As in she didn't say "Excuse me" before pushing past them. Saying it after doesn't cut it.
Rawr6591 21
no they don't
Liamj774 36
72- Believe me, she cut it.
wednesdaychica06 9
I would have said "I'm outrageous" like aunty mama from the Cleveland show
jw90 18
Yea that's just nasty. Obese people need to take better care of themselves. Especially if they can help been drastically overweight.
purebliss_fml 19
What a delight... I'm sure with her diet it smelled extra pungent.
Brilliant66star 17
Way to get gas and indigestion eating at the food court..! FYL.