Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Nasty
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
Traumatized knob
Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML
Hott
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Frustrated wank
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
RIP Beard
Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Are you experienced?
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Girl boss
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Top comments
shadowgamer_x 0
What a hairy situation. At least this wasn't in pubelic!
Althenias 0
try shaving, problem solved
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Comments (287)
PocketRockette 0
Try shaving your 70's bush and ur good to go
dubstepp 15
Haha
xXSecondSunXx 3
lol! XD
leadman1989 16
And this is why people have bad sex lives no honest communication. How is she supposed to get better? If she thinks everything is ok he's just gonna keep rippin pubes FYL bit YDI for lying.
Egnar 19
#30 has it right - I mean, I imagine you're about 12-14 because a handjob isn't that exciting after middle school and usually just ends in blue balls but one day you'll learn that the more you let her get away with things that go wrong the worse your sex life is going to be. Ladies, to clarify, this goes both ways and isn't meant to be sexist. . If you expect your guy to do you right you need to let them know what right is - Everyone is different.
Egnar 19
Because I don't hear that all the time.
leadman1989 16
Exactly it goes both ways, if you don't like something he's doing take control and show or tell him if he's smart he'll listen. ;)
boopityboppity 11
I don't think he does. I'd much rather read his thoughts than most of the asinine inanities on here.
tatianaw 0
That sounds super painful. At least you didn't make her feel bad.
SpikedKnuckles 8
Nice Save! That made me laugh. But the others are right, shave that heat.
Enigmax2514 7
Awww that's so sweet, for that I think she will treat you more passionately from here on out
hollyman 0
Wow....
creedaddict 9
Trim ur man bush next time
perdix 31
And this is why we shave. Advantages: 1) No pubes getting pulled 2) Your dick gets sucked much deeper without the hair in the way. 3) It looks bigger. I think mine also looks more handsome, but YMMV. That's just win-win-win -- get after it.
Egnar 19
Or you could just groom and not look like a 9 year old boy. . .
lcau322 0
true true
chili10 18
Im gonna tell you guys a secret, come on gather round.... *all this crap about shaving making you look like a 9year old boy is bullshit* seriously, if you looked like a 9 year old boy No girl would go near your penis, shaved or unshaven. Think about it this way, wouldn't you prefer your girl to be clean shaven when you go down on her? Well it's the same for us. And I agree with perdix, i think it does make the penis look more handsome.
KiddNYC1O 22
That's right! Keep the landing strip, ladies. "Handsome penis"... Haha.
Richard16 0
Wen a girl shaves it all off it looks weird, it reminds me of a shaved cat but that is my honest opinion and its good to keep it trimmed just dont let it get out of hand.
perdix 31
Egnar, I still have hairy legs and keep part below my waist and above my dick trimmed neatly, so I don't look like a 9-year-old boy. Once you've had your pubes yanked in a hand job or during a ******** with hand assistance, you'll want to shave the **** and balls. The OP's conundrum is a real FML!
Georgieeporgiee 9
Dude who wants a mouth full of pubes?! I like guys with no pubes! One bad point though, it itches like crazy!
perdix 31
I don't know what it's like for girls, but I use an electric trimmer/razor to shave my 'nards, and I don't have any itching at all.
fedexemployee 0
Psh I like that my bf has a bush. He's never shaved. I don't mind it when I'm giving him a ******* (the hair being there doesn't prevent me from putting it all the way in my mouth) and ive never yanked hair out either. I really like that it's there when we have sex too. :)
herpitydurteedur 0
Prolly because when you use an electric clipper it doesn't take off the top layer of skin with it like manual razors do. When you shave with clippers you're just getting reeeeally close to the skin, so you get less razor burn. I prefer to be trimmed(both me and him) but not shaven, because it feels weird during sex, looks odd, and when it's in the "too short to shave but long enough to be annoyingly painful" stage it sucks. And the wet just gets everywhere :/ nice to have a little buffer inbetween sometimes. Just my personal preference.
DustyStorm 16
Perdix. Is. Right. No groom? The ladies don't wanna.....
neliboo 0
awesome~^-^hehe
Epikouros 32
YDI next time for not telling the truth. Making her feel guilty is good - she might even give you a ******** to make it up to you.
Mokiikom_fml 8
You sound like a manipulative little bitch who'll get dumped sooner or later...