Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shadowgamer_x 0
What a hairy situation. At least this wasn't in pubelic!
Althenias 0
try shaving, problem solved
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (287)
Famouscod 0
Thats your fault fool you should shave every now and then
browncity23 0
thats why you keep the pimp hand strong... It's not illegal if you keep an open hand
daydreamer244 13
owwie
MerrikBarbarian 9
word to the wise- speak up! it makes sex a lot better if you communicate. nothing pisses me off more then a partner who won't honestly say if something is good or if it sucks
InUrArea 4
U'r gonna be getting bad handjobs forever
Uncle_Ben96 5
LOL
rkfan4evr 0
How long is your effin pubes brah
jeluc01226 0
Come on dude shave say no to bro fro
Prankster7o7 5
Shave, dude. Easy fix.
RedPillSucks 33
OP Should be glad that he got the slow Brazilian wax job.