mags
United States
Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said, "See you in a decade." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Schaumburg, United States
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
beautyschool22
United States
Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML
suze44
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Prepper
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Kyle
United States
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
kaitylait
Canada
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, my dad gave me a twenty minute lecture about responsibility and how lazy he considers me to be. He then yelled at me for not making his bed and getting his clothes off the floor. FML
Anonymous
United States
Thanks, I hate it
Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
tooearly
United States
Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Auberry, United States
How thoughtful
Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML
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Romulus, United States
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
Top comments
bobdole 0
that was funny, but a simple joke. your life is not effed, don't worry.
Amkii 0
LOL! Your dad rocks.
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Comments (43)
bobdole 0
that was funny, but a simple joke. your life is not effed, don't worry.
Peilin 0
lol humorous dad
Melody_fml 0
ddddddaaaaaaamn that would annoy me. but i guess it'd depend on his tone of voice. coulda been strait up joke. my dads called me gay before, when i said somethin bout it he was like gay means happy!! ha i wasnt too happy then
Amkii 0
LOL! Your dad rocks.
greenman_fml 0
at least you don't have to worry about incest.
Speech_fml 0
#7 you should stop being friends with that melodramatic idiot forthwith.
SadinSherman 16
Agreed what a drama queen
greenfairy_fml 0
maybe he just meant you looked really tired?
carriealana 0
I second #12. Obviously a joke and nothing to get your panties in a wad over.
Seegtease 0
#11 needs to lighten up. He was being funny. Jokes are that way, not always meant to be taken seriously.
AliSama 17
reply "at least it isn't till when hell freezes over, like you dad"