Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML
Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral, and he got so into it that he grabbed my hair. Just as he was about to climax, he pulled my hair so hard that my extensions came out. I jerked back and hit my head on the wall behind me. He then came in my hair. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
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Top comments
cats400 16
She's the bitch...
aruges93 12
She's a feisty one
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Comments (137)
cats400 16
She's the bitch...
Corrupt_waffles 13
That she is, and I can safely assume that OP is probably not going to try to make her ****** ever again.
aruges93 12
She's a feisty one
whatthefreshhell 15
Jesus Christ, how the hell does someone even manage to pull out a clump of someones hair?
fuzz97 23
by grabbing it and pulling really hard
whatthefreshhell 15
Thank you for that breathtaking step by step on how to pull a clump of someones hair out.
Bakarra 22
1. Grasp firmly onto hair 2. Prepare grasped arm for strenuous event 3. Pull hair with great force until removed from head 4. ?????????????? 5. Profit!
whatthefreshhell 15
I'm not sure how you'd profit, unless it's a celebrity and then you can put it on Ebay.
fuzz97 23
28, that's the joke
whatthefreshhell 15
you don't say.
cats400 16
FIRMLY GRASP IT -Patrick Star
AngrySailor 17
4: sell to "human hair butt plug" manufacturer.
kyu_Q 19
Some people have no control over what they do during an ******. Ever looked at the persons face having one? It usually not a pretty sight. Satasifing, but not pretty.
maximus_prime 24
So true #53, apparently some ppl look like Steve Martin when they ******, but in a good way.
annihil8or 15
No shit.
bamagrl410 31
36 - I definitely read that in Patrick's voice and couldn't stop laughing. I now feel the need to watch that episode. 77 - Well done
dwilliams2081 10
well youre the one that asked..
ElChoppo 4
Actually he did say
CreepInTheCorner 11
Ouch. Sorry, dude. She was probably too embarrassed to apologize.
HaneenDixon 16
"Too embarrassed to apologize" so she tears off his hair and replies with "shut it ya little bitch"? Yeah that makes perfect sense !!! (ó_ò)
FightMyLiger 19
#5 is right, women can be very vulnerable after an ******. Especially if this is the first one they have 'shared' with their partner. Take the pain, bitch. That's for doing it wrong for so long.
pillowcases 15
Lol I totally thought you were gonna answer #4 because your profile picture is Jesus.
hryffff 11
Wow, I hope your okay.....
jayleensmama 14
you're**
johobus28 26
What about his okay? Learn grammar
FMLJFL 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What the hell? What a stupid girl. At least you satisfied her though.
spoilt_ 15
You'd think she'd be a little more grateful
lazyasn 5
Cut her hair short in her sleep
FlamingTacos 7
Rip out her pubes, see what she thinks
fuzz97 23
I think this is a reasonable idea (srs). But make it look like an accident
whatthefreshhell 15
people even have those these days?
spoilt_ 15
Isn't that called waxing?
fuzz97 23
good point, 19
seriouscat 11
This comment made me flinch o_e
Bakarra 22
This whole thread made my crotch hurt...
zandalee 20
What the ****? She sounds lovely. Not! That is so rude!
simplysarcastics 26
Geez are you dating hulk? She's a bit too strong, ripping out peoples hair and stuff. And she didn't even apologize even after all your hard work lol
gc327072 31
Nah, she's not hulk. She just copes with her tricollomania (sp?) by ripping other people's hair out.