Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I started to put my hands down his pants and jokingly said, "Sorry, I'm not very good at hand jobs." He replied, "I know." FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
This is an FML I can actually believe happened. Yes, women often grip too hard, stroke too long and do so too aggressively the first time ot two. If you don't want to ask him for guidance (best option as communication is key), go watch some pron videos to puck up some basic tips (pun intended).
idragosani 17
Guys will always be better at giving themselves or each other handjobs, and women will always be better at flicking the bean, either for themselves or for each other.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
They're so dumb. Either put it somewhere interesting or the pants go back on.
idragosani 17
Guys will always be better at giving themselves or each other handjobs, and women will always be better at flicking the bean, either for themselves or for each other.
Thaylok 17
This is an FML I can actually believe happened. Yes, women often grip too hard, stroke too long and do so too aggressively the first time ot two. If you don't want to ask him for guidance (best option as communication is key), go watch some pron videos to puck up some basic tips (pun intended).