Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
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Top comments
shadowgamer_x 0
What a hairy situation. At least this wasn't in pubelic!
Althenias 0
try shaving, problem solved
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Comments (287)
Enslaved 38
It would be soooo funny if she knew that she pulled out the hair and now thinks you're into that sorta of kinky stuff and grabs a handful out the next time!
WordSmyth 2
Better tell her before she starts with the serious stuff. Let's just say it involves fingers in places that don't see light very often...
ohmandapants 17
You should have been honest with her. That's the key to a good sex life. She'll feel WAY worse if she's giving you hand or head and isn't able to get you off because she's doing it wrong
dOrine_fml 6
It would be so nice if we read an FML now that says: 'I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time and he starts crying so I'm going to end it'
iBrandon 0
Did that hurt so good?
leadman1989 16
"yeah baby do it again" In a cartoonishly deep voice
xxmxixkxaxlxaxx 0
Beware of bush
Egnar 19
More likely than not she had no idea it even happened - It wouldn't be hard for someone with unruly hard to have a pube or 2 get grabbed with the shaft and she would never know the difference - She was probably very confused when he started to cry a bit.
DennisC1975 4
What are you a 30 year old virgin? Got my first hand job when I was 12 didn't have long enough pubes to even pull.
MD_DILF 4
the only hand job you got is from yourself!
Jesus_Christ69 0
I had a full bush when I was 10. Wtf are you talkin about?
DennisC1975 4
Bull shit
DennisC1975 4
Your uncle's mustache doesn't count either
fthku 13
It's sad how that's not funny at all, #110. You sure you're 36 and not 6?
DennisC1975 4
When you grow up you will get it and think back to today and laugh. Your funny bone just hasn't matured yet.
skatingalyy 0
next time just tell her the truth, op. it's not really that big a deal. :P
jalaven 1
That's really sweet of you to do that op. Don't feel bad.