Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML
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Top comments
mrphychrs 5
how can she knows she's doin it wrong if you don't tell her? gotta let her know that kinda stuff bud
teague95 16
Take extreme pain instead of just saying "hey babe use some lube and be gentle"
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Comments (176)
mrphychrs 5
how can she knows she's doin it wrong if you don't tell her? gotta let her know that kinda stuff bud
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
seriously, this guys in for a lifetime of horrible handy's
CareFace 16
Yerp. If he can't properly pull back he should go to the doctor and get circumcised... Otherwise he's always gonna be hurting.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Being circumcised doesn't make your foreskin infinitely flexible. It just makes it easier to clean. There's still a point it can't go past.
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
Come on OP if you DONT tell her youre in for the worlds slowest circumcision. MAN UP CUPCAKE!!!
Rectumended 3
Still a better love story than twilight.
ninjacapo 2
Worlds slowest circumsision like tht guy who got circumsized by his gfs braces? Owie
Guren 0
Closed mouths don't get what they want
Meraklez1013 9
86- There was an FML on that!! It was hilarious
ajogden 0
If you have to teach her how to give a handjob, she's too young for you bro!
tjv3 10
She can't get better if you don't tell her what she is doing wrong. YDI for not speaking up
kyarush 10
heh heh alriiiight
swimmer3141 10
#111, she could be old enough but still inexperienced.
LolFMLnot 10
OP I find it very cute that you didn't tell her, not to hurt her feelings, but next time just take her hand and show her how to do it, you don't have to say a word. Just take her hand.
yazzypazzy 3
Should have spoken up OP! Women actually listen! Lol well sometimes... not really...
teague95 16
Take extreme pain instead of just saying "hey babe use some lube and be gentle"
emmaa3451 11
I personally think I'd be more embarrassed not to know I was hurting someone and they weren't telling me because they didn't want to hurt my feelings then to be told I gave crap handjobs. If you tell her, she can improve, and isnt that what everyone wants?
Jamialia 5
Well all I can say is, he must be in love to let her do that to the point of it changing colour.
magnusb1 1
Tell her to watch some gay ****, so she get a clue of what she's doing. I seriously h8 girls who sucks in bed :/
Bladian 5
I'm sure you've been laid many times, kid.
A7xLover_ 6
Dude you're 15.
chels1994 11
Well I "h8" when 15 year olds brag or discuss their pornographic wants and/or needs in bed -_-
SignUpisntcool 3
He looks like he's 7.
doglover569 0
79- You're 15... Kid Com'n
sparkrok 8
yeah, man! he's been laid 15 times!! oh wait.... that's the age...?
sparkrok 8
125 - and your 16. Kid Com'n...
gribbles 12
And I ******* hate when 16 and 17 year old kids talk down to a 15 year old acting like they have much more life experience.
chels1994 11
I'm seventeen and the only reason I'm "talking down" to that kid is because of the fact that I am not much older than him and I'm a proud virgin. The fact that this kid is younger than myself, and talking about how he hates chicks who don't rock the sack is ridiculous to me because of the fact he is only 15. So yes, I am commenting on how ridiculous he is, but I am allowed... thank you (:
racerapj 10
My bad for being off topic and all but, Nice Turtle Beaches #138! I would pm you but I'm on my mobile device.
chels1994 11
X-11s friend :P they're not cordless, but they are reliable
racerapj 10
154 - Mine broke :/
zotler 5
Ouch. D: Should have told her, constructive criticism and all that.
teague95 16
yep, girls don't like anything more then criticism on their handjobs
DjeePee 25
Right, like it matters what his girlfriend would think about criticism in this situation. If your partner is hurting you during sex, you're obliged to tell it immediately. Yeah, nobody (!) likes to hear that they do something wrong. But believe me, hearing that you did something wrong afterwards is way worse. You feel guilty for the pain your partner experienced, while, in all honesty, it's her (his, in OP's case) fault for not letting you know. I've had some times when I didn't let my partner know he hurted me. But I didn't whine about it on FML, because I knew I was entirely to blame.
electrorange 13
So much for being in an open relationship. You deserve it for not letting her know! That can be quite painful. You didn't even whince??
spazz666 18
She mistook his moans of pain as moans of pleasure
EmreArslan 11
You deserved it. With sex you should tell what you like and dont like.
rattusrattus 19
Agreed. You can frame it as "I would love it if you..." rather than "Don't do..." if it makes you feel better.
porcupineattack1 5
Practice makes perfect!
teague95 16
and some very sore junk
Dracoboxer357 36
7- I believe the saying OP would benefit more from would be "Perfect practice makes perfect." Practicing doing it wrong means you get better at doing it worse. :P
swimmer3141 10
Practice makes permanent. People learn to keep doing things the way they have practiced.
i_hate_cats 3
Bro, it's you offend her, or you rip your foreskin. Both mean no sex for month.
I_Hug_Cats 26
Well, she did notice the color, so I think she realized that she was doing something wrong... If OP gave her some advice I think it would have a positive, not a negative, effect on both of them.
br0ccoli 15
Cat-fight! No claws on the foreskin, kittehs!
taintedayush 0
It speaks the truth
Tits_N_Turbos 20
Turning that foreskin into a five skin!
SoultheWolf 19
As crude as this my sound, YDI. She will never understand how to do it properly if you don't tell her and help her into doing it the way you like. If its hurting you then its never going to get you off, and if it doens't get you off she's going to try harder causeing even more pain. I'm sorry that you had to suffer from the pain, but next time please inform her before it happens again.
juicypu55y 0
Well said. So have fun with those for the res of your life! As she'll keep doing it :)