Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I saved a woman from being mugged, and stayed with her until the police arrived. At which point she ignored me completely, and thanked the handsome 20-something police officer for making her feel safe, like I did nothing. Ungrateful cow. Next time the mugger can have your handbag. FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
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Top comments
ShleeG 23
Maybe start taking some self defence classes. Although you shouldn't feel bad being saved by a 15 year old. Kickass people come in all shapes and sizes
Tripartita 45
Nice, an early draft of the Deadpool screenplay got published as an FML! Man, Negasonic Teenage Warhead was an awesome character.
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Comments (67)
OptimusSlime 23
She did have the element of surprise, to be fair
ShleeG 23
Maybe start taking some self defence classes. Although you shouldn't feel bad being saved by a 15 year old. Kickass people come in all shapes and sizes
shabadabba 14
And apparently different ages
Tripartita 45
Nice, an early draft of the Deadpool screenplay got published as an FML! Man, Negasonic Teenage Warhead was an awesome character.
arano 29
Just because it's a similar situation doesn't mean it's not real.
Tripartita 45
What? I was just making a joke, not actually questioning the authenticity of the FML. The situations aren't even that similar.
dafakeslimshady 12
take my like. I tip my hat hat to you
MikaykayUnicorn 36
That was my first thought too, that movie was priceless.
00whyalwaysme00 4
Best answer EVER! DEADPOOL❤️
HoboMeth 36
Brave girl
DeadxManxWalking 27
did you thank her?
hilamonster06 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sorry dude, but you need to hand in your man card.
hellobobismyname 24
Not all men are good in hand to hand combat. It doesn't make them any less of a man. Jeez..
deathrise007 22
You are brainwashed with the philosophy of, "You're only a man if you can win a fight."
hacksaw246 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Idk why you got down voted. Sadly "men" are becoming so feminine nowadays.
Mathalamus 25
Oh, and you can fight off a mugger no problem? Most males, manly or not, will have issues doing that.
TheMathMajor 26
Also, what's wrong with feminine men?
Tripartita 45
As a feminine man, I apologize, #31. But don't despair; you'll find a nice strong man eventually. I promise. ;-)
hacksaw246 24
#48 that's sweet of you fairy but I believe I'll pass on men.
ShotaSammy 17
Goth kids are fighters. Dont even feel bad dude, they metal as ****
RodzillaX 30
Don't be an asshole.
frankmz 17
??????
mergeterge 24
You met Lizbeth Salander? Cool!
sw2f2fchik612 12
My first thought too haha
deathrise007 22
Goth people fight man. No shame. No shame.
Estelle101_fml 13
Never underestimate a 15 year old girl, we are very vicious.