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Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML

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Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

FacePalm69 0

Was it a roundhouse?

Livinia 11

Would have been cooler if the person mugging you was wearing a Ninja Turtle costume.

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Comments (171)

FacePalm69 0

Was it a roundhouse?

jamie72596 9

Chuck Norris?

Anglar 5

Are you implying that all Chuck Norris jokes are stupid? Or are you just counting down until the first stupid one? Please clarify. Thanks.

FacePalm69 0

Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Saltime 0

Doc, I am dissapoint. Your old picture was one of the most recognized on here.

DocBastard 40

What, the steak knife? I like this one more. :)

MrSassypants 34

I like your picture doc... I know the reference. 8) Also I think saltime is talking about the baby picture, that's what made me believe you're just an evil baby... everytime I read your name I see a baby typing, like the evil baby from Jimmy Neutron.

HannahForbesxo 13

I'd imagine Doc to be like the guy from the Human Centipede, only a lot more attractive and would swear much, much more.

Iamnotmyself 17

I always imagened him a black dude with fore as hair on a horse galloping through Asia causing earthquakes and eating Asian babies while being awesome and doing FML every chance he gets, but hey that's just me. Love you DocBastard, some ****..

Cryingraven 1

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris. Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land! Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris pulled a driveby.. With his fist! Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father. Chuck Norris found out how to make his dick 12"... By flipping it in half! Forgive me Chuck Norris I have sinned! T_T (

JesusFishTaco 5

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands. Chuck Norris can kick-start a car. Chuck Norris won a game of Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun. When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck Norris? All of it. Who knew that my brother's obsession with Chuck Norris jokes would come in handy?

Jimster1712 0

rhode house??

BaconDave 12

Probably an axe kick

soccerchickrocks 0

that's my favorite kick! I do it the best.

pertained 12

LOL, its a lot of effort mugging someone!

rallets 23

chuck norris can roundhouse kick himself in the face

rallets 23

chuck norris can roundhouse kick himself in the face

cameycamcam 7

Chuck Norris jokes are getting old. But better hope he doesn't see this comment

theaws0m3guy 4

Well....you should've had money in your wallet.

The_Weirdo 10

Nice one OP, you must have called apron the almighty powers of Chuck Norris to make your money invisible, right?

juicedboi 7

He had to charge for labor on top of materials. Poor mugger got ripped off. You should be ashamed OP!

syk900 3

lol i was going to type that

tjv3 10

you should have defended yourself. if you don't know how learn because the world is going to hell in a motorized hand basket and Obama is the driver

Molly_Amanda 11

i can see the robbers fml now.... lmfao.

ilovepotatoes419 14

i feel bad but its so funny

israel12 0

ROADHOUSE

Mr_Saikaly 35

First, this is the first time I know that the thief would steal your wallet and stand in front of you to check whether you have money or not, I used to think that they steal it and run fast. second, I think I should say F the thief's life for suffering and planing to steal someone with no money :p

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

uhhh learn karate?

DocBastard 40

What, in the seven milliseconds between the time the mugger accosts him and when he realises he's being mugged? I'm not sure that's quite enough time to master it.

FacePalm69 0

Chuck Norris can.

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

exactly, all OP has to do is become Will Smith's son, get a spot in a movie bought for you, move to china, get beat up, and learn kung fu from the maintance man downstairs. or just become Chuck Norris...

ImaWiseGuy 5

nothing pisses a robber off like a broke victim...

BaconDave 12

Expect the unexpected

hayleclark 17

doesn't mean that they can _._

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

I'm talking about for the future not right then lol

R4P7OR 2

douche-bag

lmfaoooooooooo 4

doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

expecting the unexpected makes the unexpected expected unexpectedly expected, obviously....

jw450 0

I expected that to be replied..

davemojo 0

man fyl. ur bruised and broke

fckdupzf 0

true that!

F2M2L 5

why didn't you fight back?

daisyloo 7

Cause it was unexpected?? FYL that sucks:( hope you feel better!

kidtoronto 5

wtf... sorry man at least u didnt lose any cash...nd just deactivate ur credit cards

wolflover44 5

Exactly. OP might be bruised but at least he didn't lose too much. There is an upside! Haha.

ambowew 7

He only lost his dignity.

diceplaya 12

Yeah but OP was broke and didnt have any money to give, which makes his life all the more effed up.

nessaspissed 0

he deserved the kick in the face for not having the money in his wallet xD haha

bahamadaddy94 0

he didn't lose cash then but he will when he gets the medical bill

OWNZ 0

Get out that samurai sword you always carry around!... Or do only I do that...?

DKjazz 20

No, you're not. I vividly remember skating around the neighborhood when I was young, and this guy busts out of his house in his underwear, waving a samurai sword over his head, yelling "You damn kids! Get off my lawn!".

CryMoreFMLs 15

That was me. Apologies for scaring the crap out of you.

miz66independent 1

but isn't a pen mightier than a sword?

shovels 0

lolsack

mattmadden 0

What the **** kinda shitty comment was that?

CryMoreFMLs 15

A sad, pathetic attempt to get firs comment.

DocBastard 40

And the countdown to the first stupid Chuck Norris joke begins...now.

rawrlily 0

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

stuart169 3

Chuck norris built a time machine to go back I'm time and save JFK. When oswald shot, chuck norris met all the bullets and deflected them with his beard. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

promarkchris 6

who carries money these days anyway

shutterbug1190 14

pretty much what I was thinking. Pick pockets need to get with the times.

miz66independent 1

actually some have a device now that steal credit card info from you pocket.

ReynshineCutting 10

Or they do something to the card readers at gas pumps that record all your info. So hit clear 10,000 times after you're done filling up!

dragonaair 5

You got A extra kick in the face? Pretty sure people get an extra kick in the face.

nigrice 0

look out the grammar police is about. troll.

shovels 0

Good job... What would we ever do without you?

DocBastard 40

And what's wrong with someone wanting grammar to be correct, hmm?

ILOLatmockdaweek 0

instead of correcting peoples grammar why not correct your make up skills. you look like you have 2 black eyes...

DocBastard 40

Why am I not surprised that my last comment is getting thumbs down. Right, I forgot...it's just the Internet and grammar doesn't matter as long as you can understand it right? I can't wait to see some of your applications for work when I interview you: Skills: omg, i can typ lyk rlly fast lol! and im rlly nice lmao I weep for the future. I really do.

dragonaair 5

#38 Taking blows on someones display picture is low, when the discussion isn't even related to it.

rallets 23

umadbro?

HannahForbesxo 13

I really don't understand why people think that it's "uncool" or whatever to abbreviate so heavily and miss out grammar. It takes a second to simply type things out properly. Also, Rallets, if it's you that keeps mailing me; STOP. I blocked you for a reason and do not want to hear from you.

HannahForbesxo 13

Shit. Change "uncool" to "cool". Whoops.

rallets 23

:)

rallets 23

:P how would i keep mailing you if im blocked? o_O

HannahForbesxo 13

It just says "unknown user" and they type the way you do and it says I've blocked them, you're the only one I've blocked so I can only assume it's you. Apologies if it's not by the way. :).

twizzlers1718 0

No comment...

gar4152 0

I agree. Some kids are so ignorant. It's really sad.

rallets 23

cool, im the only one :D but i havent sent anything :/

CryMoreFMLs 15

Random stalker comment showing how much creepier then Rallets is and that it's him sending the creepy mail.... oh wait...

dyble95 0

I come to fml to read funny fmls and funny comments. not ******* read every dam mistake. all you do is take up comment space and waste people's time. when a comment is posted it's posted so don't worry every one here is old enough to correct them selves if they give a shit or ask some one to spell and grammar check what they typed. So please I beg you all. Stop being grammar nazis just to get attention and please start posting awesome comments. by the way I don't mud if you correct me because I have a learning disability that makes it hard to learn how to spell so I take every chance I get to learn something.(see how I asked. most people you correct don't care and your just wastin

dyble95 0

your time correcting them because they won't learn any thing)

rallets 23

ahh that made no sense dude :/