Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
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Top comments
KnifeStuff 8
Assholes, assholes everywhere
GuessWhatKids 13
Don't be fooled, they're a tag team. This is how they make their money.
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Comments (76)
KnifeStuff 8
Assholes, assholes everywhere
RAUHWeltBegriff 9
Sue their a** off!
Ambient25 25
I don't know why there are so many assholes, it's really a crack in society
adam3650 12
The police need to get really anal and crack down this sort of thing. No ifs ands or butts.
kimberly976 5
Lol true !!
Chumsword 8
....but not a drop to drink.
jkmartinjk 16
Really 76? How much more obvious do we have to make these puns!?
brackaman 18
78 it wasn't your fancy words that blew our minds. It was the fact that the thread was about ass puns and you thread jacked with something unnecessary. By the way, OP is from the UK. FYI.
capper44 18
That's a one of a kind, aye.
AngelSpit 18
No that's a fairly common scam
browneyedgirl52 13
It's terrible that gender stereotypes make men the only apparent criminal. Make sure you file a police report. People are disgusting.
nelliegw 26
How does that relate to the FML? It says OP is a girl...
browneyedgirl52 13
LOL looks like I'm the only one doing the gender stereotyping! Totally over looked that!! Ignore that comment everyone...
Welshite 40
Wait... So it's okay to make gender stereotypes if everyone else does?
ApollosMyth 22
~Of course 20, duh.~
Adhdkid107 9
Hey at least you admitted it instead of trying to go around it.
BulldogHoops 14
It's okay because you embraced it.
limitedition 25
What a random way to get robbed.
NoDontKillMe 19
Maybe they did it just to get her purse! [-_-#]
markuskind 7
#35 you really think so???:OoooooooO
Ki11erC 18
35: You think? -.-
kxxjoejoexxk 8
Gee if only there was a word for taking someones things~
kool_girl_123 9
Really?
Jarl_the_Elite 27
35- NO SHIT! I'm just pissed at everything right now.
ScenicSubterfuge 39
Lolz, justice!!
melbournearsenal 18
What are you on about ?
razz122 5
More like what are you on?
ScenicSubterfuge 39
Wow.. Really guys? I was being sarcastic. Saying this was justice. Obviously it wasn't. Chill.
GuessWhatKids 13
Don't be fooled, they're a tag team. This is how they make their money.
JamieLT 22
Exactly what I was thinking, makes sense. But sorry you had to go through that OP
Offspring_fml 27
I had the same thought in mind.
Crazafon 19
Thats what you get for stealing here bag!
AquanTheDragon 5
Yes. OP had mental problems, making her think it was her bag, when really she had just robbed that woman. Now that I have explained your bullshit reasoning, you can kindly shut your damned mouth. Your head has to be placed back up your ass anyway, that's where it belongs. Good day, sir.
jeepers_1 21
Well hopefully they aren't smart enough to get rid of your ID then you can go to the cops and prove that it's yours, if not then sorry OP better cancel all your cards and get a new bag!
Polynomial 28
The best thing to do in a time like that, tell the guy to check your wallet, so he'll see your ID. If he says you just put your wallet in there, show him your phone in there too, and if he still doesn't believe you, not guilty until proven otherwise.
lilhellian 27
I get the feeling they might've been partners in crime.
skatoolaki 24
More likely he was in on it. This sounds like a tag team rob scam to me. I lived on and once ran around on the streets of New Orleans and this kind of crap isn't that unusual. Really sorry for OP but rough parts of a town are...well, rough.
Polynomial 28
Yeah ... I figured that out after posting. A second thought, file a police report, and hope since it was such a bad neighborhood, some security camera caught it. And the next time it happens, kick the "nice guy" square in the balls, show him your ID so just in case he was really a nice guy, he'll know, and if he doesn't care ,kick him again, call him a thief, and walk away. I what the hell, what kind of guy would prey on a woman like that? (Prepares for "sexist pighead" responses) (Not trying to troll, but really, he is a scum bag to do that.)
kool_girl_123 9
Yeah
mylifeisgreat9 13
Omg same thing happened to me last month!
berichsoon 11
I was gonna say that's a lie, then I noticed you are from Canada. Canadians don't lie
rawr_ily96 24
Did they say sorry after?