Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a "phobia" of monogamy. But don't worry, she defensively assured me she's never ever cheated on me, even though I never said she had, so I guess that's okay then. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML
Today, my boyfriend randomly decided to let me know that he believes there's really no such thing as cheating, unless both partners explicitly agree that the relationship is monogamous. And no, he wouldn't agree that ours is. FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé and I had vastly different definitions of monogamy. Don't worry, he only did it when he was mad at me to remind him how much he loved me. I found out from my best friend. FML
Today, after months of being called paranoid, distrusting and over-possessive by my girlfriend for being suspicious of her, I learned that she really is cheating on me with her coworker. When confronted, she called me ignorant, gullible and naive for believing her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she loved me for the first time. Unfortunately, it was her way of saying that she didn't want to lose me after cheating on me yesterday. FML
Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I think counts as cheating. We got into a fight about it, and she eventually broke up with me. Turns out, even by my own standards, I've cheated on her multiple times throughout our relationship. FML
Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML
Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML
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Top comments
Enslaved 38
When I first read this I thought it said mahogany. Lol
False_Stupidity 42
She must live in constant panicky fear if she has a phobia of monogamy and yet claims to have been monogamous. Yeah, right. Smells fishy to me.
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Comments (83)
iwanttogotoparis 26
Oh dear
BlockOfRedStone 25
To be fair, it's expected that OP would have asked her about that. It sounds like she anticipated the question of her loyalty, but then made herself look like she actually IS cheating by not waiting to see if he actually was going to ask her about it.
Brandi_Faith 34
Yes, it's true that she could've just been anticipating his next question and decided to answer it before he asked, however, the whole conversation was weird in itself. Why bring up the fact that you basically have a "phobia" of monogamy if you're in a monogamous relationship and not cheating or planning to cheat? Either she's already cheating or is warning op she may cheat later on and that it's not her fault because it's a "phobia."
False_Stupidity 42
She must live in constant panicky fear if she has a phobia of monogamy and yet claims to have been monogamous. Yeah, right. Smells fishy to me.
Miss_Whipped 43
That's probably because OP's girlfriend hasn't closed her legs.
Aimeejasmine 15
Cheating doesn't cause your gentials to smell..? Lack of hygiene does..
heartofhannah 28
The point: here you: here
SystemofaBlink41 27
And over here we can see the joke flying miles above #48...
TDKopecki 16
It all depends if you're willing to accept her flaws or not. Is she worth it?
mattfire14 12
I don't think you know what monogamy is.
Morning_fml 22
Cheating is not a flaw, it's a stupid reason to break someone's heart.
kurodansei 16
It's his girlfriend not his wife. If he is willing to accept a polyamorous relationship than all is well. if he is not, then they go their seperate ways. This comment is legit folks. No need to down vote.
Enslaved 38
When I first read this I thought it said mahogany. Lol
countryb_cth 38
Ahahha I could picture it now. OP's gf looking at cabinets "oh god anything but mahogany. The horror! "
Frindaddy 13
Same here. I think I have a fetish...
Dovahkiin_1997 22
Effie, is that you!?
theTravinator 21
It's Oak-kay, I read it the same way too
redstone7693 29
I know I'm probably gonna get downvoted but what is monogamy
gallifreyanqueen 10
here ya go #55 Monogamy (/məˈnɒɡəmi/ mə-NOG-ə-mee) is a form of relationship in which an individual has only one partner during their lifetime or at any one time (serial monogamy), as compared to polygyny, polyandry, or polyamory.
Marshmallowjello 22
Exactly! I thought that op misspelt mohogany.
redstone7693 29
Thanks #56.
xRiverSongx 17
THAT'S MAHOGANY!
mif_fml 27
Sounds like she either is cheating or seriously considering it.
castleofg1ass 19
I think its time to find a new girlfriend who shares the sane views as you Win win for both of you, you get a faithful gf and your old can **** around
castleofg1ass 19
*same
Peachykeeen 0
You know, this doesn't have to be a bad thing. You could have an open relationship and see other girls too. Its funny how one mans fml is anothers fantasy.
Garrett2818 21
OP do yourself a favor and shoot number 8 your girls number.
Mauskau 36
If I wanted an open relationship, I'd just date several people at once and not classify any of them as a relationship, But I wouldn't do that because it's enough hassle dealing with one person. If you want to see other people, don't let it get to boyfriend/girlfriend status.
Cassie898 4
if you are looking for a serious relationship I would leave
tranced_ 45
Time to say goodbye!
nesteremily 31
I think it's time to have a serious talk and get your priorities straight. FYL