Today, I was finally asked out on a date after a year of being single. Turns out he got the wrong number. FML

Lonely times

Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

Distant love

Today, for the first time in more than two years, a guy asked me out. Too bad he lives halfway around the world. FML

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML

Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML

Today, my crush confessed their love for me, and I happily told them that I felt the same way. They looked uncomfortable, so I asked why. Apparently they'd been paid to prank me. FML

Today, I received a drunken prank call from a girl I didn't know around 1am. I don't know what's sadder, that I carried out the conversation for 30 minutes, or that this was the first girl to call me in over a year. FML

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML