Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got asked out for the first time in my life. During a prank call. By a complete stranger. FML
Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML
Today, I was finally asked out on a date after a year of being single. Turns out he got the wrong number. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, for the first time in more than two years, a guy asked me out. Too bad he lives halfway around the world. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML
Today, after a year and half of being single, I was asked out on a date. I was asked by a married man. FML
Today, one of my guy friends, who I’m not interested in romantically, asked me out on a date. This is the third time a "friend" has asked me out on a date. FML
Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
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Top comments
epicwaffles 7
You are learning, young padawan.
Redoxx_fml 22
And marry his mother?
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Comments (180)
epicwaffles 7
You are learning, young padawan.
blackheart24 10
Apparently OP's username is appropriate to her love life. Maybe raise your standards a little bit so you don't end up with a creep for a bf?
manny9852 4
Where do you find these people?
epicwaffles 7
Black mesa
The_Troller 14
Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt-
warlords08 0
Wtf man realy starwars
AnagenisisZagus 13
You are complaining at th Star Wars reference? I ought to devour your soul.....
juicystar777 4
that is crazy! he's gonna be after you. my friend was in this situation once. you need to change your # because he's gonna be calling and sending you text messages non stop. it's like that movie "I know what you did last summer" or the aaahmazing show on ABC family "Pretty little liars." like the physco character "A" your date will always be watching. D:
hellbilly205 17
Atleast you had a date, while im over here forever alone.
Quidikic 9
60- Please tell me you are joking? I doubt that guy is going to do that, he'll be too busy murdering his father with a rusty drill.
grahambertus 11
In the words of great Yoda: "Date or date not, there is no friendzone."
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
What if his dad like, kidnapped his fiancé, raped his sister, and killed his mother! That sounds like a good plot for a movie or show xD.
b0ngs 7
60- you really dont help the blonde stereotype -_-
mr_torch91 1
60 - you're an idiot.
juicystar777 4
say what you want, but it's better to be safe than sorry!
nerobluerose 10
He is destined to kill his father and sleep with his mother, told by the oracle.
Wandering_Ninja 8
Great reference to one of the best tragedies ever.
music12 4
104- her life seems like a blonde moment!!
Driveshaft 5
Was he a character from LOST?
JohnnyPhoenix31 7
More than a few people on here will not get the Oedipus reference
jizzwold 21
Can we all try to stop feeding the troll? I refuse to believe someone like that blonde girl is a real person.
The_Troller 14
Nobody seemed to get my Portal 2 reference.
zadie 6
So... was this date better or worse than the first one?
TwinArmageddons 4
I bet he'll burn the house down, WITH LEMONS!!
TwinArmageddons 4
Well we could always burn their houses down... WITH LEMONS!!!!!
jonagoo 8
123 - I got it immediately. But you should stay away from moon rocks
RogueWarrior869 23
Just saw it. I got it. It also seems at least one other person did too.^^;
BAbubbleZ 0
Oedipus anyone?
GLaDOS8899 14
THIS IS THE PART WHERE HE KILLS US!
amandam21 9
Op, you went on a date with Voldemort or Barty Crouch jr.
juliahockey 0
He's a keeper.
GrammarNazzzzzi 6
Yeah, in a mental institution or in jail if he ever kills his father
uffiewuffie 0
OP has bad luck twice in a row? It has begun..
toenibbler 14
Arghhhh, when I said this a while back I got bitched at. Life is unfair and you got lucky :)
draegbomb 5
That's what happens when you go on a date with the next Jeffry Dahmar
Trainspotting_fml 9
OP'll find out he's her brother next..
ouchie1013 0
my eyes just popped out of my head! that's disturbing
ariannaa_fml 17
Sounds like it was your destiny to get away from him...
uffiewuffie 0
It has begun...
uffiewuffie 0
Shit I didn't mean to comment the same thing twice, I'm a dumbass.
addiizcherry 0
Really creepy... Maybe he was joking though.
tigereye360 1
Why would you even joke about that?
LilyCow 5
Next thing you hear on the news: "A middle aged man was killed today by his own son." Scarred for life.
addiizcherry 0
Mentally ill?
P374RD3D 9
"It is my destiny to kill my father." *horrified look "LOLJK"
Redoxx_fml 22
And marry his mother?
woahwoahwow 9
Oedipus Rex!
iDaniel525 8
Was the first ************.
lunargh 7
so glad someone else saw this. OP, so long as you're 100% sure he's not your estranged child, you're probably safe. But just to be sure, run to the ******* hills.
P374RD3D 9
Run for your life
dlohoh978 8
Omg antigone
jerryk 2
Your temple run is bs
sprog86 2
My thoughts exactly, perhaps inquiring whether his mother was called Jocasta would have been a wise move...
michellenKG 5
is he getting some of that oedipussy?
micahsmommy 13
Did you make sure it wasn't his destiny to kill you too?
cduran2011 6
That's what you get when you date future/present inmates. Try meeting someone at the park.
PaulB123 11
How are you to know who the future inmates are...?
lefty619 6
What's wrong with felons? Cuz they have a different background? Or cuz they do illegal things? Fer real your ignorant
SPAIDZ 0
Rapists pedophiles and general freaks hang out in parks with their panel vans just waiting for someone to take your advice.
KiddNYC1O 22
That was really dumb advice, #7.
darien987 1
He just randomly admitted he killed his father? O.o
micahsmommy 13
No that it's his destiny to do so...in future.
dixiefoxx 22
Who needs them, really..
rattusrattus 19
Hopefully he was going down a 'God is father' route and was trying for deicide rather than patricide... either way its still creepy. And anyone who believes that their 'destiny' is to kill someone isn't right in the head.
sweetness17 7
^fail.
datoismyname 22
Huh?
Internut 6
What the **** did I just read?
CoolAidIsMyName 0
You don't say?
mpsteve137 15
You must be dating luke skywalker
ImInYourFACEbook 8
*Goes down on knees* NOOOOOOO!