Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I rescheduled my doctor's appointment for a tetanus shot to go camping with my friends. While running on a path at the camp site, I stepped on a rusty nail that went right through my shoe and into my foot. Maybe I should have kept my appointment. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML
Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML
Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
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Top comments
camoney 4
definitely the toenail
cudi504 4
definitely the fish hook through the toenail *shudder*
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Comments (177)
camoney 4
definitely the toenail
Trupe 3
agreed. doubt you have a spare toe.
friscoed 0
Agreed. Sorry OP D: hope your alright!
darkch0colate 0
i disagree with the above statements.
bubble25_fml 5
I disagree with your disagreement.
Outsider_77 0
I suppose this is why people wear shoes
rocketeer_97 1
It might have went through OP's shoe.
Outsider_77 0
then that's no longer a fish hook but a spear if it can penetrate the shoe and op's toe
Gross2332 0
Ouch OP Toe's the worst yikes well u can always get another spare of keys but ur toes ouch now that's a pain.
KingGeorgeGal 12
Depends, are you more worried about your safety or your money?
theaws0m3guy 4
Ouchie.
rocketeer_97 1
38- Or OP took off his/her shoes because OP didn't want their shoes to get wet.
Tommananaze6T9 4
obviously da keys because then if that wouldnt have happened then the toenail wouldnt have happened
psdancer101 0
well atleast you got your keys back..
DuckfaceSoccerpu 0
36- sandals/flip flops.
blanquito 1
I wouldn't wear my shoes in a dirty lake..
KingGeorgeGal 12
I didn't mean to comment that-__- & I do not know how to delect it.
DJhaxk 0
try delete button
MrFlintstone 5
hows op gonna get to the hospital for some anti bacterial shots if he lost his car keys
TheRealBruce 12
Oh noo I hope y'all is okay that sounds like a tragedy I hope y'all found your keys.
scarletdragonfly 5
I'm definitely gonna have to say the hook through the toenail sounds worst. It made me wince just thinking about it and you're gonna have a hell of a time getting it out. But the keys... That sucks, too. FYL :|
ChickenInMyKitch 4
Is it wrong I pictured #108 saying that in the gay voice....
rawrriri 8
78, Umm I doubt op really got her keys back... I don't know about you but a fish hook gping through my toe would kind of stop me from worrying about my keys. But thats just me
volley4eva1698 0
116 you're not the only one
nfc14 2
Theres no nerve endings in the toenail, so, this hurt as much as a pedicure? Keys in the lake wins
Sergey_Bubka 0
me tooooo
Sergey_Bubka 0
^^^@116
rawrriri 8
129, i doubt it. The way I'm picturing it is like the hook goig under the nail and lifting it, just the thought of it is painful or, it could be like cutting your toenail to short.
PopRocks14 0
This FML made me cringe :/
scarletdragonfly 5
116 - Naaaw... I totally did that, too.
Voqab 3
one time I was at a beach swimming n a hook got caught da bottom of my toe it went in n came out so my foot was hook dey had to cut it out my toe
ohjessica 11
OUCH. Sorry, Op. /:
Tjack_attack 0
he's a beast
Marcel4_fml 3
the toenail part sounds painful.....FYL OP
JesusFishTaco 5
I'm still wondering if the OP got her keys back.
Denikk 0
How does one lose his keys on the bottom of a lake? It's not like the bottom is 2 feet away fron the edge...
foodlord 5
I wonder if OP eventually got the car keys back...
xiaoxaio 5
ow ****! no seriously OW ****!
ItzEka 0
that today actually happend. thats worse.
cudi504 4
definitely the fish hook through the toenail *shudder*
Zya_fml 8
Gangster picture!!!..
MissAimeeAngel 15
I agree, totally gangster; quite badass. Lol.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Ugh put a shirt on. I don't have an astounding physique but GOOD LORD! Even pedobear would run!
cudi504 4
thanks guys iv been working on my beach bod
LuxAeterna_fml 0
It shows.
Newboyz00185 0
oh daaaaaaaaayum its Peter Griffin
KingGeorgeGal 12
Oh damnnnn whattttsss your nummbba.
unluckiestperson_fml 14
4- your description seriously made me cry with laughter. That and the picture xD
dancerNsinger4li 0
i was gonna comment abt the pic until i read the profile. lmao
ChickenInMyKitch 4
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAGAHAGRJRKS
OceanProtection 0
lol. sick shit
morganxangela 0
whatsss youurrr nummbbaa?(:
TexasCountryFan 0
that's some funny stuff right there hahaha
nateiztite 5
ewe toes I mean hum:p
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
what?
thetrollyoulike 6
ok slow down and begin trolling a bit slower mkay?
NomOnShroomz 14
Pardon?
kballer13 0
did you get the car keys though?
starile 20
She probably stopped at the point a fish hook painfully drove its way into her toenail...
Livinia 11
They're both equally terrible. FYL.
unluckiestperson_fml 14
It would just complete the FML if she didn't haha
taeko93 0
You Are Really Damn Cute!
cgchamp89 7
Creep.
xangelcutiexx 0
You look sooo much like Selena Gomez !!
borntoperform 14
Oh dear sorry OP!
c0wz_g0_quack 3
The car keys because you can't drive yourself to the hospital or at least back to your house
starile 20
Plan B: Use a NET. And see what other goodies you can catch with it, dirty fish hooks and all.
amazinggbaby 2
Because she would be carrying a net around with her, right?
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
Introducing the brand new Pocket Net! Use it on the go to catch car keys that fall in lakes! Only $1.62 plus $345.16 shipping and handling. Don't miss this amazing offer! Buy it today!
cgchamp89 7
65, really?! I would buy it but you didn't leave a number! Now I'm gonna miss the offer and I have a fishing trip this afternoon!