Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
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Top comments
splice520 4
future pimp
enonymous 9
So did the teacher get a discount?
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Comments (455)
Casey777 0
this is the smartest kid ever
Bartimaeus 7
future male prostitute.
Bartimaeus 7
It's Justin Bieber, of course.
VirgoCrazy 0
first steps to masturbation
remfire 0
at least he is not trading touches, if it gets bigger, does he charge more?
thehillhaseyes8 2
a rising playa
truth_teller23 11
can i adopt your Kidd?? he sounds like a pretty cool little man!!when he moves up a grade it'll be 1$ for bathroom time at lunch!! don't hate his ladie attracting abilities appreciate them!!!!
Zanzy 0
I thought at that age boys still thought girls had cooties. I blame the Internet
pokopiko 9
*shuffles in pockets* DAMMIT! will he take that in nickels and pennies??
Litschi 0
now THAT is a nice story to tell his girlfriend when he is older! Today, my mom told my new and very catholic girlfriend that i charged girls a quarter for touching my penis when i was eight. FML