Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
But he's only 5
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
Top comments
thecouchisalive 20
Just like his Daddy
Ravike 17
Can't blame the kid, he just obeyed his daddy's wish
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Comments (85)
thecouchisalive 20
Just like his Daddy
s3kShUn47 20
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree
JMichael 26
You should have him smack daddy and have him say,"mommy said I should do this."
drivingmissdaisy 13
Better yet kick him in the balls...he did grope her boobs.
imura 8
whoa. slow down there. groping and kicking the balls is 2 way different things. the groping didnt hurt. getting kicked in the balls does. i honestly dont see how you find that justification. I feel bad for any man your with
tashb 17
Haha I'm sorry but that is adorable. Poor son doesn't even know what that means lol
Lebeaugars95 20
did you seriously suggest kicking a 4 year old in the nutts #32 ?
LisaDay 14
no. he suggested kicking the dad in the balls. which is a huge over reaction. groping her breasts is harmless, but kicking dad in the balls is harmful.
drivingmissdaisy 13
@33 -_- I wasn't being serious I wouldn't actually tell a child to kick someone in the balls.
drivingmissdaisy 13
@ it's she
Ravike 17
Can't blame the kid, he just obeyed his daddy's wish
jeriaslovesyou 16
That's kind of cute in weird way. :)
englacobain 14
No it's not you little sexist. People shouln't teach their kids to see women as objects. This is a great start.
Indianboy9321 25
Don't be that person in this thread, please.
junkman6 22
Yes number 18 because of one little joke this child will grow up to be a sexist woman hating chauvinistic pig. /sarcasmoff
meli1195 31
Whoa #18 seems to have some issues, its just a little kid who innocently followed his dad's instructions, its not like he's showing him to put down women or telling him to grope every woman he meets
Jessj958 19
I think it's hilarious. My 3 year old son has done the same thing to me. I told him it's not appropriate, but I couldn't help but laugh when he did it.
LisaDay 14
18, its a JOKE. calm down.
shoofly777 3
I agree #18. That was inappropriate, and not cute or funny.
oatmeal96 10
#18 This has nothing to do with treating women as objects. Your a complete idiot if you think this 4 yr old kid has any clue what objectifying women is. It's wrong yes. But at the same time it's funny cause he is so innocent he doesn't know the 'norms' of today's society... All in all your over reacting
Sista92359 24
Are you and #18 mentally challenged or jut retarded
Batmans_cat 14
His daddy is not a good role model
Alecster21 5
Now go tell him to squeeze Daddy's balls!!!
blazerman_fml 17
Gotta catch em all!
kingdomgirl94 29
Eh... there's a difference between genitalia and breasts... twenty bucks says three years ago the kiddo had his mouth on the boobs, where as groping daddy's balls is just a road to sexual abuse accusations...
meli1195 31
Breasts and balls are both private areas and both should not be touched unless given permission to do so, and can both lead to sexual abuse accusations if touched
Brandi_Faith 34
Ya, as funny as this is now. I bet they're going to get a call from a teacher some day soon saying he's groping either his teachers breasts or the girls in his class' breasts. Not a smart move on dad's part because if op's child is told it's funny now, then he'll do it again to get a laugh out of people.
LisaDay 14
calm down 50. its just fun. and if the mom put it on fml, im sure she didnt find it funny.
delude 26
Next FML should be: Today, my four year old son punched me in the balls and said, "this is what mommy told me to do"
Godsofdracos 15
Looks like it was in moderation, "Today my son pinched my balls because mommy told me to"
LexiDaBae 17
I actually did see it in moderation! Probably some troll. ?
Godsofdracos 15
Probably, not sure why I'm getting down voted about it, why I would lie about it I'm not sure.
ultratroll 3
I'd do that to you if I had the chance
AnonymousFunFMLs 18
Daddy has taught him well
englacobain 14
You would be a horrible parent.
Emmiii_fml 18
Hm, i wonder what peoples response would be if it was a 4 year old girl groping her dad.
Ravike 17
Reading upto this point I'd say pretty much the same except they'll replace "daddy" with "mommy"?
Godsofdracos 15
11 you have too much faith in FML commenters. It'd obviously be- "what a sicko letting his daughter do that" and "omg gross someone call CPS; pedo alert." Then you'd have a small percentage who make incest and pedophile jokes that get buried. Finally a few wouldn't see an issue with it; or would wonder if he stopper her and why the mom would tell her something like that in the first place.
ninjahesten 18
ninjahesten 18
Ravike 17
Eh I just read #10 post for the 2nd time now and meh this is embarrassing. True it would be alot more different
SpamPam 18
Oh yes the double standards are strong in the FML community
albertozeta_fml 9
Stop Daddy before Lesson #2!