Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
Today, I finally found someone who liked me and wanted to kiss me. It was a 5-year-old at the daycare I work at. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
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Top comments
Chloe555_fml 27
At least he does not discriminate.
inesbcr 13
He is a serial kisser
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Comments (74)
BantasaurusRex 13
Well aren't they a little immature?
Nzhangftw 7
That's gross
MRSwick2525 23
He's a 4yr old kid Dude. Homophobic much? That is how little kids act at times. It's all innocent behavior.
Chloe555_fml 27
At least he does not discriminate.
MasterTron 24
He's 4, he does not know any better
okokalright 15
Well yeah he doesn't know better. I'm not saying it has something to do with anything else other than he's just a kid. But technically you're not exactly too young to know what gender you're attracted to
morganmck 15
#34 what do you mean he doesn't know better? I hope you didn't mean he "doesn't know better" as far as kissing boys. People know what gender(s) they're attracted to at a very young age. If you're being rude about the situation you shouldn't have said anything. He's a four year old boy. He shouldn't have to grow up believing his preference is wrong.
Redgy22 26
He 4. Not stupid. He's old enough to know NOT to touch or kiss others @ school. Obviously he hasn't been taught appropriate behavior. My 3 year old knows better.
OopsyDoodle 6
The kid is 4, 72. Appropriate behavior is still being learned. If he was 10 and doing that, your comment would have bearing. Otherwise this fml is adorable and youre just as bad as the overreacting daycare workers. Theyre just kids. Stop sexualizing an innocent little thing.
hacksaw246 24
Uh oh the PC police are out in force today.
bogwarlock 19
talking about sexuality at all makes you PC police, apparently.
chinaski7628 32
76-- I totally agree with you about it being innocent (and cute), but, as a former daycare worker, I can kind of understand why the daycare did what it did. All it takes is for one kid to say something to a parent who will totally freak out. Imagine one of the boys telling a homophobic parent another boy kissed him. Or the parent of a little girl who decides the boy is sexually harassing their child. It's possible OP's son kissed a kid whose parent notoriously overreacts about everything. Daycares are businesses-- if a parent causes a stink about something, the daycare could lose money and get poor word-of-mouth. By sending OP's son home, they can at least show the other parents that they're being proactive (even though sending him home isn't the best way to handle it, from an education stand point, it would be enough to possibly shut up an angry parent) Working in daycare, I saw a lot of ridiculous decisions made just to appease parents (especially when it involved conflicts between children). I could be wrong, but working in daycare, I saw stuff like this all the time. And we always knew which kids' parents would throw a shit fit over the littlest thing. Ridiculous? Yes, but it's most likely because they're afraid of parents. And sorry for the long comment.... :)
Ambrily 27
@85: no, thank YOU for your comment. I read it with great interest.
kittyisbaeornaw 18
I'm pretty sure #34 means that he doesn't know that he can't just walk up and kiss random people in a public place
daemonsparta 16
i think this is more a hygiene thing than sexual. little kids have germs and spread them
kaitlynjane 28
#108 Don't you mean... COOTIES?!! *dramatic music starts playing*
yellowzinnias 20
You are totally missing the point. He wasn't asked to leave because he was kissing boys, he was asked to leave because they had already received one warning and the behavior continued.
inesbcr 13
He is a serial kisser
vikky538 29
When i read the FML this was my first thought
inesbcr 13
Ahah well thanks
namine120409 42
I mean he was technically following the rules they set forth for him the first time.
karcummings 19
i haven't even had my first kiss.. sounds like your son will be a natural to this stuff when he grows older.
pinkster2014 25
Same haha
AwesomeblueJUAN 13
Weird, I'd expect someone as gorgeous as you to at least have had a few!
ExoticBlossom 6
same! lol
lex1459 38
At least you seem to have a very open minded son, which shows good parenting on your part! Good job, OP!
thatonetribute 31
Yeah, good parenting to let your kid invade other children's personal space/boundaries.
Timmip12 9
He's ******* four dipshit
Guru_Gal 12
He kisses girls and they only phone home. He kisses boys and they ask for him to be removed. That sounds a little homophobic.... o.O
2nd 20
It's because he didn't listen the first time that they removed him.
SubparAtBest 23
reminds me of this "I hug a girl like it don't mean nothin then I turn around and start hugging her cousin."
fpants2010 18
Things are getting so out of hand with the way people react to things. When my son was 17 MONTHS OLD he looked up a baby girls skirt and the daycare wanted him removed for "sexual harassment" and asked the girls parents if they wanted to press charges. The parents laughed at them and said no but can you imagine otherwise? I was furious with the daycare!!
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I can imagine you didn't send your son to that daycare after that. That was ridiculous for them to overreact like that over a 17 month old doing something he won't even remember.
fatman1970 25
What the Hell is wrong with this world?
Mynamewontfi 40
That's just ridiculous. A daycare should know that kids are curious and might do something like that, while they don't know it is seen as wrong. Good to know the other parents weren't that dumb to press charges. I didn't even know it was possible to press charges over that.
siggy_mcsigx 22
gross. They are the ones who sexualized the baby girl.
fpants2010 18
I did switch him to a different facility! He's 5 now and has no interest in looking up skirts ;)
nonsensical 26
You make it seem like he's looking up pant legs now
easilyboredone 8
Who in their right mind would actually press charges against an infant.
Badkarma4u 17
A little boy about 6 years old, on our block got caught "playing doctor" by a little girl's parents. They traumatized the little boy, made him go to child therapy. Told him he is forbidden to play with any of the other children unsupervised. As if hes some kind of sexual predator. If he wasnt messed up before he is now.
corky1992 33
That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! They're still babies for crying out loud!
danceinconverse 25
I don't think children under six can even BE charged. They literally don't have the brain development to know that what they're doing is illegal.
Moochi456 20
I have a feeling if they did press charges, the judge would have laughed them out of the court room.
Attacksloth 33
Political correctness can go too far. Case and point, I got yelled at by a lady on the bus for supposedly ogling her when I just glanced in her direction for a few seconds. Held up my phone with a picture of my wife, and said, "no lady, I have standards."
THE_AJ26 11
What has the world come to #33?
FYlife604 18
the DA wouldn't let it get that far.... Luckily there are sane people out there that decide the fate.
writerchic85 26
That's awful! How can they place sexual harassment on someone too young to know what either of those words even mean?
chinaski7628 32
I can't imagine a child being charged with sexual harassment, however, daycare workers (and teachers) are mandatory reporters. We're trained to look out for unusual, aggressive, or advanced sexual behavior in children-- it can be an indication that the child is being abused. If the child was questioned, it was most likely to find out if that child had been abused. The tricky part, especially with toddlers and younger children, is for the daycare worker or teacher to distinguish between what's normal sexual curiosity/activity and what could be an indicator that the child has been sexually abused. When I worked in daycare, we had a four year old boy who kept offering girls a quarter to see their underwear. That's kind of normal-- and I'd seen variations of it from other kids before. Then he made me the same offer and it really creeped me out. After a lot of thought (and discussion with my supervisor), I made a report to DCFS. During their investigation, they discovered the boy's uncle had been molesting him (the parents had no clue and were grateful to me for filing a report). Little kids do all kinds of weird sexual things-- and it's mostly just curiosity (I, or anybody who's worked with children, could tell you crazy stories). But sometimes there are darker reasons for the behavior. As a teacher, you always hope you're wrong and overreacting, but there's always that fear that you're right.
Xandrick 22
While that is definitely harassment, they're just little kids who won't know any better for a while. All that can be done is to continue teaching them right from wrong and hope it sticks. :P
ce2009 4
I don't think a 4 year old offering money to someone to see their udies is normal at all....