Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
It wasn't me
Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML
Daddy's in the shit again
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
Toot etiquette
Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML
Today, I fell asleep in the school bus on the way back home when my loud fart woke me and a few other kids up. I am a teacher. FML
Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML
RIP
Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML
Good boy
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Did the class ask are you his mother or his Farter?
Mr_Satan 11
I certainly hope so. It's never okay to Pope little boys...
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Comments (86)
Codezlol 21
Atta boi
OMJizzzle 2
You suck at spelling
Inediblepeaches 15
...Thats the only thing he sucks at?
TheReaper13x 10
I would have piped him upside the head
guitarbeast 22
I hope you don't have children
feelingold 18
in all seriousness though, where's the discipline? my parents would never have accepted that sh*t. I'm not talking beating or anything, but your kid needs to be schooled into some respect.
Wizardo 34
Brace yourself, gas jokes are coming your way.
Pleonasm 36
*coming in your general direction.
Wizardo 34
I wonder who the cloud will hit first?
Mirorbo 27
Seems more an answer a 5 year old would deliver than a 10 year old. Hopefully your students are at least half-decent enough to not let this embarrassing moment haunt you.
botanistjessica 24
Honestly, I wouldn't put this statement past a 30 year old man
TheReaper13x 10
I mean poped not piped
CharresBarkrey 16
No, I think you mean "popped."
Mr_Satan 11
I certainly hope so. It's never okay to Pope little boys...
sexyboi1985 27
What a lovely kid u have there. Full of manners.
chabelo 10
well he's just 10 forgive him children and drunk people always tell the truth
maosquare 18
Really? My 7 years old niece sure lies like a psychopath.
darwinism 30
"Well class, for show and tell today we will learn about adoption. I even have props". That will teach him.
BellaBelle_fml 23
No, that's just cruel and a ridiculous overreaction to something so trivial.
Ambient25 25
This is the part where you tell him "don't make me get my belt". If he keeps mouthing off, go get it, bring him to the ground, put your foot on his back, and raise your wrestling belt high for the class to see!
koningmax 7
your childhood must have been horrible
Ambient25 25
It's actually a meme
OverFlash 15
More like a popular web comic than a meme...
stanjohnson 11
Think about his children's childhoods.
zandalee 20
Cool kid. Great sense of humour!