Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
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Top comments
splice520 4
future pimp
enonymous 9
So did the teacher get a discount?
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Comments (455)
zURideN 0
oh my haha that reminds me of my little sister when she was in kindergarten, she made this one boy pull down his pants! :P good luck wit him! haha
tinvan 3
hahaha that's too funny
decomposerix 0
wow I'm 12 and I'm not a pimp should have thought of dat
Peboese44 0
i tried it at school after i read it the first time. it didnt work besides this one creepy chick came over and handed me $1 and said is that enough for the entire afternoon!
bazyx187 0
your kid is a genius.
decomposerix 0
he be pimping already I'm 12 should have thought of dat
Booda13 0
smart kid
MistyLazuli 0
Lol!!! U should be proud of him! Entrepreneurial 2 the curious & with no shame! Don't worry, he's 2 young 2 kno wat he's doing is sexual. Unless he's been xposed 2 that sort of thing (eg he found ur secret **** collection) in which case b VERY worried!Here's ur chance2b a gr8 parent&explain y not2.
coletun1 0
kid is a genius!!
shaaayyee 0
whudda pimp.