Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML
Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML
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Top comments
bleuroze 4
Your son is an entrepreneur utilizing the assets he has available by forming a workforce with attributes matching his business model. But seriously, I think all the parents need to talk to their kids. He's probably guilty of peer pressure, but the others are probably guilty of naiveté, and all should be addressed to show and expect respect.
mike3775 39
Looks like someone let his son watch South Park.
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Comments (7)
Ubehage 32
I don't understand why they yell at you for something your son did. FYL. I hope he shares the loot with you.
RichardPencil 32
What's the problem? Some people go their whole lives trying to find their purpose in life -- your son found his at six! Get him some broad-brimmed hats and drive him to school in a Cadillac!
mike3775 39
Looks like someone let his son watch South Park.
poopface82 25
Don’t tell Kyle’s mom or she might start a war.
brownsugarxo 15
this is amazing, little hussler at 6 yrs old
Justkidding100 41
sounds like he's smarter than his classmates, you should be proud! who cares if the teachers don't agree. my elementary school had a real money trade for random shit kids took from their parents. Talk to him and make him understand that perhaps that was a little bit weird and have him sell girl scout cookies and he'll be an entrepreneur in no time
bleuroze 4
Your son is an entrepreneur utilizing the assets he has available by forming a workforce with attributes matching his business model. But seriously, I think all the parents need to talk to their kids. He's probably guilty of peer pressure, but the others are probably guilty of naiveté, and all should be addressed to show and expect respect.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Butters and his bitches. Do you know what I am saying?
tiptoppc 21
His BOTTOM bitches, you mean?