Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
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Top comments
splice520 4
future pimp
enonymous 9
So did the teacher get a discount?
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Comments (455)
splice520 4
future pimp
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
his learning the ways of the world whilst his young. I wish someone taught me, I was my pimps bottom bitch for 5 years before I had the courage to leave. I now work for myself and have never been happier.
sammy92 0
haha everytime I read your posts I automaticly read them with Peters voice and it just makes them 10 x more funny!
FMLoverAgain 7
Not a pimp. He will be a gigolo!
ydi_4_suking 20
damn. pretty soon hes gonna start charging to let them suck on it. what have you been teaching the kid?
sarapsosis 1
LMAOO this kid is hilarious, very entrepreneurial I see a bright future for this kid LOL
klonopin_ftw 0
deuce bigalo? I love that song..
RealityChecker 0
Yo kid da pimp. I see it in his future.
broccoli2 0
send him to church, he might bankrupt the priest
fooch 0
$10 says he gets someone pregnant at 10.
jonan1212 5
BE WORRIED... the might run out of quartes
Gondile 4
Atta boy!
ryanliechty 0
lmao tjinking exact same thing
chell1894 13
OHMYGOD... pimp
MissBunny25 0
OP's kid is a genius
GaryMuzz 4
best win all day
Skylarboyle 0
you deseve it for not being a good mommy and making him charge a dollar I mean dam what are we teaching our youth these days!!!
bowchickawowbone 0
The girls might have only payed him because they thought it was a piece of string?
JCHammer 5
Well ge acts the part, now you have to start buying him the clothes
skyeyez9 25
He'd be a millionaire within 3 months!
mtacker 3
gator wants his gat punk ass bitch! XD
Hmmm_ok 0
technically he's a ho... lol.. nice try lil man
jokerzwild 0
gator dont play that shit teacher pays a dollar
marcranger 29
future *****, actually. one of those girls will eventually wise up and pimp-slap him if he doesn't give her a cut.
kingdomhearts3 0
You're an idiot...are you really calling out an 8 y/o kid because he has a small penis?? That kid's doin more with what he's been given than you ever will. Pimpin from the womb!! This kid's dooope
1eyedmonster 0
# 68. Epic Win!!
j_cat187 20
ur son is tight
tjisnumbaone 5
true...Hahahaha love this one
you_freak 7
He's keeping his pimp hand strong!!
TheJester12 15
this kid should be the future president of the united states ... entrepreneurship at it's finest! and if he's not into politics at Least the next Ron Jeremy . either way , this kid is GOING PLACES
bubble25_fml 5
that kid is going places... mainly street corners... hey, male prostitution is a constant growing market... the kid could make serious cash out of it, and he obviously has the basics down.
tminihan 0
bahahhahahahagahha
Ryanfmlfiend 0
15 hotter than ******* helllll holy shit!!!!!!!!!!
HowardTheDuck 0
OMFG XD
KruseBaby27 0
wtf are you, a bumblebee?
JacksonCampbell 9
Future Gator!
DesB 7
an who are you to be telling anybody they are a bad parent?!?!?!?! you aint nobody so why don't you just shut your hole!!!!!!
unhappybitch 8
you are sexy and your cat is cute
sarahgrace4 0
damn He's already pimpin those girl watch out
Alpha35 4
HAHAHAHAH LMAFO HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAH PERV IN ACTION HAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ALSO A FREAK HHAHHAHAHAHAH
Kachi_fml 0
exactly what I was thinking xD
impatientsnake 4
that kid will be an antruprenear damn
cheba_fml 3
yeaup
zourwolfe 0
entrepreneur* please at least use spell check
stubblez 0
I don't think you understand. This is a win-win, size issues or not. Apparently he has been versed in the "f*** hoes, get money" way of life.
iWinRar 0
A pimp would charge people to touch someone else. He is either a future **** star or stripper.
Daviddwd 0
Lucky ****
AMCJEEP 10
Are you stupid?
violetrider123 3
haha love that kid
cross3 3
haha agreed
liquidfireKAN 0
samee I completely agree!!
quin01 0
Wat a gigalo
Madmattmania 0
I wish my son were to be like him
Madmattmania 0
I wish my son were to be like him
SmallyBigs 9
So THAT'S where my daughter's quarters keep going..
22cute 17
Ha ha your son is a prostitute
tahvoh 3
omg! Genius!
CatEyes66 0
Wow, this FML is so wrong but sooooo so so funny. ^^ Yup, this kid is smart.
jess2gd4u 0
he's not smart, he's sexually exploiting women already!! hope u get ur kid help before he ends up in jail
austo97 0
ehem. Maybe you should read the post before you say things like that. He isnt doing anything to the girls. they are paying him to touch his pickle. full of win.
Jizwold 0
ya seriously its not the guys fault like every time I do anything with a girl thats a *couple years younger than me people are like "why would u exploit her like that?!?" well she a ho *couple can mean up to 7 years** **I'm almost sixteen
hunterfreed31 0
you've done crap with 8 year olds?! you sick bastard!
angel2293 0
datz my son!!!! haha jk im only 15
lola_94 0
no 7yrs and up. but that's still very wrong
rldostie 19
Not genius. The kid was probably sexually abused by someone and he's acting out what he learned from the abuse. Almost always the case when it's this young. It's actually very sad. The op should have the police look in to the matter for the child's safety.
truthinlies 1
113 think before you speak such harsh threats
Temi25 6
I think he means he has did stuff with 9 year olds
jess2gd4u 0
200 there are threats. this i a reality check! are so naive to think that what this boy is doing isn't serious. clear the fog and stop pretending this doesn't exist. if this mum doesn't get her boy help, he will end up in jail for some monstrous atrocity! he's only 8 and he already has a perverted view on sexuality! if can't see that you are but a dimwit!
jess2gd4u 0
* they aren't threats**
SBSforthewin 5
^ possible false accusations
kingjames2306 0
so your 15 and you would mess with a 8 yr old thats falls into your (few 7yrs age difference?
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Sex sells, someone'a gotta pay the bills! So come and get your kicks.
beasting 0
haha thats a smart kid
Jrbn 0
Idiot doesn't even know how to spell or what s/he's talking about and yet she seems to call others a "dimwit". S/he also needs to learn how to start a damn sentence, not being a grammar Nazi but when people start a sentence with "are so naive" you have to point out the elementary school drop out.
enonymous 9
So did the teacher get a discount?
forgottenleah 0
Haha!
MEF62 5
haha that's one smart kid!!
WOGBRO 6
hahahaha but seriously u get money and an ecrection for free it's a deal
qtkisable 0
The teacher probably got upset cause he raised the price on her
julia78122 0
hHahagahha
sarapsosis 1
hahahahaha
AshlyNicole 0
hehehehehehe
truthinlies 1
win
JocelynKaulitz 28
he's practicing his future career
jordanp17 3
future male stripper at bachelorette parties?
Flutist 3
I have to say that is the coolest little kid in the world. Getting girls to pay to touch his wee-wee... sounds like he learned what girls did all along, its special as long as people want to pay to get in/on.
TheNewGuy03 29
i think that this is funny coming from someone whose screen name is "flutist." hehehe. ;) |the kid|
colin5 0
he he he
collinp89 1
fyl?! you should be on www.truelad.com telling this story as a good one so people can see that there is one decent american! your son is a legend, you have clearly trained him well.
mega00ant 0
EPIC WIN!
hatepineapple 14
The question is how much did the kid make? Over 3 bucks? Give him detention. 15+ bucks? Give him a shot of vodka the kid be a man now!
Juggalette_623 9
******* win!! LOL.
xdust 4
good thinking