Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend, who I dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML
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Top comments
AngelLovesDerby 10
Whoa... What a Bi*ch... Get a DNA test homie!!
Vagitarian1 10
Paternity test. Now!!!
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Comments (164)
ao34501 5
Get that paternity test and if that child is yours, take care of it and give that child the love he or she deserves.
Hutch1965 6
Absolutely get the test done, but hey, if the kid is yours, congratulations. You're a new father! I wasn't planning on having my daughter and couldn't stand living with her mother, but I have to see being a dad is the best part of my life.
Mshrodes 13
Aw, your comment made me smile :) However, we don't know anything about how old OP is, whether he is in another relationship, or his plans in general. We can't assume he could or should take care of the child. But I do agree that if it's possible for him to raise him well, he should. No kid should have to grow up with OP's crazy ex as a single parent.
luckyone365 7
Kids are a waste of time and money.
Thejackel79 9
So what happens if no one has kids because "they are a waste of time and money"?
Korra_fml 23
well... you may end up having to pay for the kid, but at least it will allow you the right to be in the child's life should you so desire to be. another route (again, if you want to take care of the child) would be to petition her for custody. if you can manage to get custody, then you can hit her for child support. also, if you have a way of proving she's an unfit parent, they can make her pay but give her no rights to the child.
thundermoo 16
It's a shitty situation to be stuck in but just remember it isn't the kids fault. Would you really want your child to be solely raised by your **** of an ex girlfriend? If you don't do right by your kid you're really no better than your ex so at least get some time with him/her even if just weekends/holidays
mkcherry 14
I would have gotten a DNA test when she got pregnant even she said it was someone else's, you knew at the time you had slept with her and it was possible, why chance missing out on your kid, or having some horrid woman come back and try to squeeze money out of you for no reason. I personally don't think back child support should exist for the time period before the woman files. If she has a court order and you don't pay for three years, sure she should get back support, but if she chooses to file when the kid is two or three, its her loss.
glabberfasted 16
DNA tests in utero are extremely expensive and dangerous for the baby. Besides, SHE left him because she was sure it wasn't his.
KylarStern19 7
Get a DNA test. If it's yours you can't say shit. Sorry.
rdenkewicz 11
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
mikaellikestacos 14
You can get out of it sense she left you and didn't want you in it's life until she knew she could get money
frizz101 22
I have to agree OP, get a DNA test, and if you are the father take responsibility and get custody of your child. Would you want your child to be raised by someone with no morels. If you don't want to raise your kid then at least be involved in their life and maybe you'll be a good enough influence that they won't screw up their own life. Of course if it's not your child I hope they get their real father or grandparents to raise them. Your ex sounds like a **** that shouldn't raise children.
archertheo 15
Don't get a DNA test... That could confirm. When she had the kid, she put someone else's name as the father on the birth certificate. Use that to muddy the water. She is now an unreliable ****. Use her indescretion against her and don't hesitate to get graphic... Her parents will love it.
Xalandra 17
Yes OP, screw the kid out of any support you could potentially provide, emotional, fiscal, whatever. And all because you couldn't wrap it up when you screwed the child's cheating mom. Really? It's not the kids fault. It didn't ask for this situation, it didn't ask to be born. OP shouldn't duck a paternity test, OP needs to take responsibility for his actions. He needs to get a DNA test, and if the child is his, then he needs to man up, get partial if not full custody, and help take care of the kid. If he helped make the kid then he shares in the responsibility for raising it, even if he just contributes financially.
glitterkuro 18
Totally agree, #71. Why punish the kid? If the kid is OP's, he is just as responsible for creating that life as the mother is.