Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend, who I dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AngelLovesDerby 10
Whoa... What a Bi*ch... Get a DNA test homie!!
Vagitarian1 10
Paternity test. Now!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (164)
psycheiris13 20
Woah get a DNA test. Maybe she knew it all along and just came back to you because he dumped her. Good luck OP.
flashback_fml 14
Call a hit man
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Well, did you have sex with her unprotected? How long ago and how long has she been pregnant? Either that or she cheated on that guy too. I hate girls like her, ***** that sleep around so much they don't know who the father of their own kid is. And then she'll probably be a lousy mother to the kid, who is the one who ultimately suffers. And our tax dollars will support her habit. /facepalm Hopefully you're not the father, OP, and she cheated on the guy she left you for (once a cheater, always a cheater), and that's the baby daddy. Good luck! But remember, wrap it before you tap it. ;)
VoodooPriestess 16
Sometimes when I hear stories like this, I feel the legal system is too all for the mothers. I mean when doesn't the father have to pay child support? It's like no matter the circumstances the dads have to pay up. Or when they should, they're told to then don't and there's no repercussions. This kind of stuff is screwed up and I hope you win.
Xalandra 17
Yes, it's so screwed up for males to help raise they child they helped create. Even if it's just financially the guy needs to help raise his child. Why? Because it's their ******* responsibility. If they absolutely positively never wanted to have a kid, then they should've either abstained from sex with the opposite gender, or have gotten a vasectomy. If you are sexually active with the opposite sex then you take the risk that you'll either get a baby or an STD. no contreception is 100% If the kid is OP's then he has no right to complain. He needs to help take care of the child.
kdm_km1 19
sorry bro, obviously you need to get a Dna test from an independent source
imchacon22 19
Maury!!!! Probably not your kid either. But in case it is I hope you have a lawyer because if she told you the child wasn't yours then it's not fair for you to have to pay back child support.
AmorVitae93 6
Well first things first get a DNA test and then be happy your new daddy
underthesea12 24
congratulations dad!
LifeOfAnRN 18
If the ex-girlfriend applies for any government aid they will ask who the dad is. Somehow I feel she's in that system. If she names you they will do the DNA test. If the other guy had been supporting this child and was on the birth certificate she can't "double dip" and get it from you, too. He can sue her. If it's your child you can ask for co-parenting an nobody pays child support. You also can get a DNA kit from a drug store that's not too expensive and get the answer ASAP. In any case she chose to be with the other guy and that hurts. But if this is your child you need to step up because it's not the child's fault. Good luck.
Shade1982 21
Yeah, you are right. Unfortunately, the system is far from perfect and deviations from this happen all too often... People get screwed all the time.
driinkbleach 18
Definitley come back for a follow up on this one! :)